Metaphor Of Psychotherapy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I am a relatively young therapist, my identity has not yet been fully formed, and lately I have been increasingly trying to clarify for myself: who I am, what I do and why I do it. It is also inspired by the fact that friends, acquaintances, and people who do not know me, when they find out that I am doing psychotherapy, often ask me questions: "And why should a person go to a psychotherapist?", "What is a psychotherapist for?" What will it give me? " and others. I noticed that going into the details and nuances of how my personal life has changed (due to the passage of training, personal and group therapy, life experience) has a dual effect. Those who have faced similar experiences and difficulties immediately pick up my words and understand what I am talking about. Those who have not had the experience of just such a depth and such a quality of experience are more likely to get even more confused and cannot figure out what the task of psychotherapy is.

I have been a great dreamer since childhood. I like to come up with various scenarios for the development of events in my life and not only in mine. And due to the fact that I have been studying the gestalt approach for the last 7 years, metaphors of how a person's life is structured and how a psychotherapist interacts with it often began to appear in my mind. And just the other day I got such a metaphor, which resulted in a mini-story. There is a chance that it is not new, but for me it is quite simple and vividly shows the beauty of the therapist's work and the changes that occur in this process …

(I wanted to write in the second person) Imagine that you are a chauffeur. You are driving along a dusty, country-side, uneven road through fields, forests, small old villages. cramped and stuffy … You drive for a long time, already all the priest is bruised from shaking, you only look forward and do not stop. you don’t remember how you ended up in this car, and where you are in such a hurry. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. Yes, it’s stuffy. But you learned very well to ignore the strong discomfort. After all, life is a hard thing, you need to endure and be strong (this is also someone when How long will it last? It is also unknown, but they said that someday it will get better, it will become different, you just have to be patient.

Gradually, you begin to creep in the thought that something is wrong here. The butt doesn’t go away, it doesn’t get any easier, only it’s harder and harder, it’s completely impossible to breathe … But it's okay! You just need to improve a little, tune the car and everything will work out! You hang a fringe on the windshield, attach a backlight under the body, hang an aromatic Christmas tree on the mirror … But here's the problem! It doesn't get better! In parallel with this, the feeling of powerlessness and loneliness does not leave … As if something is missing. It’s as if something deep inside you asks out, something not very comfortable and appropriate, but very important. As if some important part of you froze. And you decide to take a desperate step: it's time to turn to a specialist - a psychotherapist.

In those rare and short moments when you stop the car, the same specialist in spiritual harmony sits down with you, with a sensitive gaze, an insinuating voice and solid slowness, on which you pin so many hopes. Maybe he will finally tell you how to make sure that the pain from bruises is not felt, how to properly inhale the stale air in the cabin (so that it does not seem so stale), and how to accelerate the car so that it stops bouncing on bumps.

The first thing a psychotherapist notices is how uncomfortable it is to be in this car … He starts talking about it to you, and asks, how much time would you spend in such conditions? Where are you going? Why so fast? And why do you need to endure such unbearable conditions? He has surprisingly much interest in you and your path, but it is quite difficult for him to be with you in such conditions.

At first you cannot understand why he is telling you this. But, oddly enough, his words moved you. Something inside you moved, stirred. And suddenly, unexpectedly for yourself, you begin to wake up as if. The body began to fill with energy. You start to notice! Noticing how tired you really are of riding in this rattletrap. How your body hurts and you can't really take a deep breath. The idea that you "need to go" is not really yours, and it is not at all close to you. You begin to experience a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear, shame and pain. How much did you have to endure … But the most unusual thing that you noticed is that these are the consequences of your own choice. You yourself agreed to go in this car, you yourself drove all this time, you don’t understand where, and you yourself chose to endure these conditions. Myself.

After talking for a while with the therapist, you decide that you need to stop. Really stop. Reluctantly, you hit the brakes, stop, decide to get out of the car … And … You see the world around you. You began to pay attention to what is around you - nature, trees, birds, the blue sky above your head, the scorching sun … You feel awe, admiration, and at the same time the strongest anxiety. The feeling of being in this place is new to you. And it is even possible that this fear would grow into horror if the very person who asked all these important and extremely difficult questions was not nearby. His presence warms you and makes you feel better. It seems that for the first time you felt what it means when another is nearby.

Confusion overcomes. Where are you? Why are you here? Where are you going to go next?..

From this moment on, your long journey begins. Your pilgrimage. It is difficult and scary for you to abandon this old, uncomfortable, broken-down car. She is already like a dear to you. Feeling the presence of the therapist, you decide to take this step. Overcoming fear and anxiety from the unknown, side by side with it, you begin to look for another path. The way to yourself … It turns out to be a very difficult task, but the presence and keen interest of the therapist serve you as tremendous support, with which you begin to gradually return faith in your intentions, desires and feelings.

You look closely, sniff, feel everything around. You make timid steps, move both forward and backward, stumble, hurt, lick your wounds, give change. You are looking for others around you, whom you could trust and with whom you could warm yourself. You rejoice at a new path, a new, unknown and exciting road. You really touch your life …

… After 3, 5, and possibly 10 years… You are driving a beautiful, comfortable chopper, along a wide highway, skilfully avoiding small holes. You drive at a speed suitable for you, you get real pleasure from the road. The wind blows pleasantly over the whole body. On your way, you meet other drivers: you smile at someone, greet someone, stop at someone to get to know each other and have a cappuccino. And you go around someone and try to stay away. You drive near the most beautiful cities, incredibly high mountains and dense forests. Sometimes you find yourself in dark long tunnels, from which you experience so much excitement and uncertainty that you even start to think about whether you are going there … But after a while you again leave on a wide, flat track, bathed in the sun and other smiling drivers.

The place where you find yourself fills your soul with joy. You go exactly where your curiosity and passion take you. Yes, there are many unknowns on your way, but there is a certainty that existence itself supports you. You know exactly which road you want to drive and with whom you want to share your journey. And you know who you are. You are a living person: strong and vulnerable, joyful and sad, angry and caring, rude and gentle, impetuous and slow, reckless and attentive, free and needy, loved and loving … You breathe life, and life breathes you.

You have a favorite pastime - to stop in nature and observe how fascinating it can be. One night, you stopped on a beautiful mountain elephant, put your motorcycle on the bandwagon, and, climbing to the top of the mountain, saw an incredibly magical perspective of the landscape that stretched out in front of you - a forest that turns into a clearing, and a clearing turns into a city sparkling with all the lights. at the foot of a deep, clean sea … You involuntarily remembered how many years ago you met the very person who, with his curiosity, turned your whole life upside down and helped you open the way to yourself. You experienced incredible bitterness from the lost time of all those unconscious years and gratitude from such a sincere meeting of two living people, with their roads, their destinies, unique experiences and the thrill of presence. All of this made your eyes moisturize. "Thank you for living …" you said lovingly, addressing the entire universe …"

**

I am convinced that any person is free to live as he wants. I am not omnipotent, I cannot "correct" the life of another, reward him with power or hand over freedom, even if I am a great master of psychotherapy. All I can do is sincerely live next to another. This is a great feat, and at the same time the most natural manifestation of our true nature, what we were born for.

I do not know what is the highest goal of my stay as a human being in this world. But lately I am more and more convinced: we have no choice but to live with all our soul and with all our heart.