2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How to LEARN to live YOUR LIFE. Part one.
Once a woman working at a construction site carried a basket of bricks on her head. She stumbled, injured her leg, and the basket fell off her head. She tried to lift the basket and put it on her head again, but could not and began to cry inconsolably, turning to God for help. Her passionate appeal attracted the attention of the Lord, and he appeared before her.
- Did you call me? - asked the Lord.
- Yes, Lord! Please help me put the basket on my head! the woman pleaded.
- But I can give you release! You can ask me for everything you want: wealth, youth, health, and you are asking me to put a basket on your head ?!
- Please put the basket on my head so that I can finish the work by lunch …
(Eastern parable)
“What does it mean to live YOUR LIFE?” Some will ask. Let's think about it …
What do I mean by this concept? In my understanding, LIFE is everything that surrounds us, and living life means using all the OPPORTUNITIES (resources) that LIFE gives us. Already at our birth we receive a lot of RESOURCES, and if we use them correctly, then we live OWN life - the way we WANT it!
"Well, we already live our own lives!" - many will think. And they will be right! Because we ourselves create our own reality, set certain goals, make decisions on our own. Now, if you take the parable about a woman with a basket of bricks: does she have any alternative besides the one that carries this basket at the construction site?
Some of you will probably be indignant: “What Alternative can I have ?! It is only in fairy tales that the Lord descends like this and offers heavenly life! But let's think if this is so …
What INNER resources are given to us from birth: our abilities and talents (which we often don’t use), our inner qualities, character traits (which we often don’t develop), intuition (which we don’t listen to). Features of our psyche: good memory, quick thinking, ability to analyze, etc. If you look inside yourself, you can see that we are already born with a good baggage of our internal resources (not to mention the experience of past lives), which allow us to realize everything your goals and desires. But at the same time, our life still does not develop the way we want.
More often than not, we simply do not see, do not notice the opportunities that life gives us, but it also happens that we strive to take advantage of them, but something interferes, holds us back. Even worse, when circumstances are not in our favor, and no matter how we bang our heads against the wall, nothing changes anyway!
Why is this happening? All because of the notorious internal blocks: negative attitudes, fears, grievances and other rubbish! They prevent us from seeing clearly, clearly realizing and clearly formulating our need, from which our desires and goals are formed. And it turns out that we do not follow our desires, but the desires and needs of these internal blocks, living not our own lives.
So much information about this can now be found in different sources. Many different teachings, methods of rewriting, transformation of negative attitudes have appeared, even electronic programs have appeared. How it works? According to the creators of these techniques, it is enough to simply discover your blocks by analyzing your negative thoughts, and "rewrite" negative attitudes to positive ones. And, it seems, it seems that everything is so simple, but, alas, not always!
Unfortunately, we do not see all of our blocks or perceive them as destructive, hindering us. Quite often, they “protect” us or prevent us from “making mistakes” when we try to change something in our life. And when we try to "rewrite" them or even somehow find them, they begin to strongly resist, or, worse, they go deeper into the subconscious so that we cannot scratch them out of there!
I have already written what this leads to, but I will repeat (repetition is the mother of learning!): Lack of energy, I do not want to do anything, generally misunderstanding of my desires. Life seems to oppose us, puts a spoke in its wheels: unnecessary people come across or the necessary ones disappear somewhere, it is impossible to find a good job and, in general, your vocation, to attract a partner (partner) to create a family. Yes, elementary - LIFE DOESN'T PLEASE!
My clients often complain to me: “Everything seems to be fine: work, spouse, children, money in abundance, but there is no joy in life. Energy is leaking somewhere!"
Why this is happening, and why our blocks "protect" us, how they resist changes in our life, I will tell about this in the next part.
How to LEARN to live YOUR LIFE. Part two.
So what are these "cockroaches" (blocks) that live in my head? Why did they "crawl" there?
In general, everyone has these "cockroaches", and so do I. Some cockroaches are easy to deal with - recognize them and send them home. But, most of them hide in the dark corners of our subconscious when we turn on the light in our head.
Let's take a look at the main blocks that can hide in our subconscious.
Negative (limiting, destructive) attitudes:templates, prohibitions, prescriptions.
Practically all teachings, scientific and pseudo-scientific directions associated with the development of personality are called upon to fight these "cockroaches".
What are these "cockroaches" and how do they appear: these are errors of thinking that form a person's wrong (erroneous) idea of himself and the world around him. They appear most often in childhood, when our parents, who also have limited beliefs, teach us about life.
The most common destructive patterns are:
- no money (do not ask for a toy, there is nothing to buy);
- all men are co.. and women are idiots (here I softened): when mom speaks unflattering about dad, and vice versa;
- be a good girl (boy), otherwise they will not love, etc.
It is impossible to list all the templates - there are a huge number of them. But the principle is the same - they do not allow a person to see a life situation in a different way, not like he was used to, because he was tamed to this from a young age. During the period of growing up, these attitudes become more and more, with age, new ones appear. Destructive thoughts lead to destructive decisions, therefore a person with "joy" finds confirmation of them already in adulthood, attracting unsuitable partners, penniless work, human ingratitude for trying to be good for them, in search of love and approval, and so on.
Racket feelings. Let me remind you that these are: these are false, replacing real (authentic) feelings, emotions and even needs.
In fact, these are feelings imposed on us by our parents or other people from our close environment, through the prohibition of real feelings and the encouragement of "false" ones.
Let's take the last pattern as an example: be a good girl. What does it mean when a parent is trying to re-educate a "bad" (capricious) child: do not cry, do not be capricious, do not make noise, be quiet, be obedient. And, like, everything is correct from the point of view of education. But when a child sees that he is loved only when he is “good”, he begins to hide his real “bad” feelings, such as: anger (girls should not fight), fear (a boy should not be afraid), resentment (heroes do not cry) … Growing up, people take their muffled anger for fatigue, fear for aggression, and, trying to earn the love of others, "erase" their boundaries, cease to be themselves, and, in fact, stop living their life!
Wrong, false, destructive decisions push a person to adopt the wrong life strategy, force him to act out negative scenarios in relations with other people, such as: victim, tyrant, brawler, etc. And it turns out that these scenarios simultaneously "protect" us: from loneliness, when in the victim scenario we deserve the love of our partner, and, at the same time, we will definitely choose the tyrant! Here, a false secondary benefit is triggered: "beats - it means loves", the main thing is not alone. From money, if in childhood we were taught that money is evil, it can only be earned in an unrighteous way, and you must be good! Think about the secondary benefit here. From here originate: emotional dependence, sabotage itself, panic attacks.
I will not describe all the scenarios in this article, but let's see what options are available, again, using the example of this unfortunate woman from the parable. What scenarios can she have, and what to do with them? Or is it really her purpose - to carry bricks? About this in the next part …
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