The Control

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The control.

Control on the border of which is not visible, this is a shaky feeling of the presence of something invisible, vague, that absorbs your defense mechanisms, pulls you into its space, filling you with the feeling of the presence around you of something that you are not able to see and recognize, this is what something unlike what you came here with, it is something different in relation to you, it subjugates you and makes your body react, strain, resist its will, close yourself from the inside from the onslaught of a powerful stream of otherness, for which you are only the scope of the control, so to speak - the control sample. As if you are becoming hard, and the space around you, on the contrary, is soft and you no longer feel the resistance of the air outside you, you feel it inside yourself, from the heels to the back of your head, it has already penetrated inside you and squeezes out the last drops of consciousness from your trembling body, like a victim shuddering in the mouth of a predator, you try to squeeze it out of yourself, but the control is stronger, it will break you, and when this happens, it will seem to you that it is you who control your fear of it.

This strange sensation, from which there is no escape, emerges at the moments of a person's contact with his personal inner area, which he cannot influence in any way. This is an area of some kind of inner truth that does not change itself, but changes everything around itself, and getting into it, feeling its boundaries and its order or chaos, you are immediately influenced. You feel control as it is, and you can accept it or resist it. Control presses and reveals in you all the zones most inaccessible to your consciousness, which you cannot see on your own, which are hidden from your consciousness. Control, like an electric current, hits you, forcing you to obey his will, in the event that you are not familiar with your will regarding yourself. He shows you the place of your helplessness in the face of your personal truth, how you cannot accept it, how you resist it, how can you not bear her mere presence in your life, this is how blind you are, this is how you are alien to yourself, here with such force you will feel the control coming into you from the outside.

Yes, you will want to immediately dive into the burrow, well, or kill the controlling object. Escape is the easiest and most effective option, to hide, hide, mutate, change, pretend to be dead, or put on a mask so that they don't recognize, and of course, come up with a story that will explain your behavior to you, invent it talentedly, so that you yourself will believe in it, tell yourself about a world full of danger and anxiety, about a world in which there is no place for you to be so vulnerable, vulnerable, imperfect, which looks ridiculous in this refined setting, no matter what, you say all these words to yourself in your refuge, close the door tightly, utter the code phrase-lock and you will slowly exhale, calm down, drive out fear and pain from yourself, sob convulsively and lick your wounds, and dream, like one day, you will open the door of your refuge, and there, outside, there is no danger for you, you will see a clear and a clear border, with delineated edges and a set of rules, and you will breathe a sigh of relief when you see that the illusory object has turned into a symbol, that it has frozen, that it has given you control over itself yes you have a set of rules in your hands. And you will calm down. For a while.