Incest As The Root Of Many Problems

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-12 20:57

There are many more situations of incest than is customary to think, and even more so to talk about them. In my practice, there were dozens of them.

Often the memory of the Victim blocks such stories, because the closer her relationship to the Aggressor, the more painful it is to think about it.

Indeed, for thousands of years incest has been under the strictest prohibition among most peoples. And, like any taboo, this prohibition has been violated always and everywhere, as evidenced by numerous works of art.

The relationship between stepfather and stepdaughter as the "least" of evils

Galina went into business in the nineties, unexpectedly succeeded for everyone and changed her drunken husband for her young driver. The determining factor in Galina's decision to legitimize relations with Victor was how he treated her daughter Lenochka with reverence.

Galya worked from morning to night, while Victor was involved in business as needed, his wife herself mastered the skills of driving a car quite well.

To quote Elena's recollections:

“At first I perceived everything as a game, and then I was afraid to tell my mother about it. She wouldn't have believed me anyway. Mom was always strict with me, and Victor forgave everything. When he left her, I was already studying at the university. Mom was not up to me, because she was in the deepest depression. As a result, Victor returned, and she bought him a new car as a present, and she kicked me out of the house on the pretext that I needed to grow up."

As it turned out in the course of therapy, it was from that moment that Elena began to rapidly gain weight. The woman, periodically, gets rid of it, but the dropped kilograms come back and grow with new "savings". So the body, out of loyalty (unconscious love) to the mother, protected Lena from Victor's encroachments. By the way, his stepfather had long lost interest in her; he always had affairs on the side and had not worked anywhere for many years. And the body continues to "protect" Lena from any relationship. The woman hates her body and considers herself unattractive.

Games with cousins on the brink of a fou

Perhaps the most common form of incestuous relationships. The only difference is in the degree of involvement in the process from almost harmless games "to the hospital" to real relationships that last for years.

All kinds of uncles and step-grandfathers

I think that such stories are also familiar to many colleagues. They begin with the fact that the girl was visiting distant relatives in another city or village, where a certain "uncle" molested the child with absolutely impunity.

To the question: "Why didn't you complain to adults?" the woman, as a rule, answers, about the same as Elena replied: "No one would have believed me!"

The most paradoxical thing is that most of these "uncles" are not bitter drinkers, but quite themselves, law-abiding and even respected citizens - war and labor veterans. Now, just how is all this mounted with pedophilia and licentiousness?

Most often, already, as an adult, a woman feels guilty for being like that, punishing herself with professions where she must constantly demonstrate herself as a man as a commodity:

model, fashion model, stewardess, model, less often a prostitute.

Emotional intelligence in such women is usually poorly developed, as well as libido.

Mother-to-son or daughter-to-father relationship

Many readers are aware that this is based on Sigmund Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex.

Nellie is about sixty years old and her son is about forty. The woman is fresh and youthful, while the son is old-fashioned, weak, lacking in initiative, and, of course, is still not married.

At the same time, the woman sincerely does not understand what is wrong with the fact that they can lie in bed together on the weekend or rub the back of the bathroom with each other.

Diana's story really shocked me.

The woman had a real bond with her father, which began by mutual consent when the girl was nineteen years old. Now her father is old and sick, Diana has a huge list of complaints against him except one. She considers herself guilty for seducing her father. Two marriages of a woman broke up after a year and a half, each, to her only young son, Diana, is overly attached.

What if similar stories happened in your life?

STEP 1Give up the position of the ostrich and just remember it so that the blocked memory does not scream with the help of the body, somatizing in illness.

STEP-2. Realize that this event really happened and stop blaming yourself.

STEP-3. If it is difficult to cope alone, get therapy.