If You Have Completed Many Trainings About Femininity, But Still You Are Unlucky In Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Why do girls know and can do everything, but nothing happens in love?

Why did you attend "stop hundred" trainings, but are still alone or unhappy in a relationship?

Because, firstly, in love science you are guided by outdated folk myths, on which you rely. Many coaches, matchmakers, psychologists, whose trainings I studied, rely on these myths, voice these myths as completely true. Now I will try to dispel these myths, and in the next posts I will write that, secondly …

So, harmful myths:

1. Happy to get married … Happiness is a fickle quantity, and if we are talking about the emotion of happiness, then it is acute and short-lived. Calmness - yes, it can be more constant. Therefore, the relationship should be calm, not turbulent. Do you want to experience this emotion at the moment of marriage, or all the time to walk on the highest emotional uplift without a break? But if you think of happiness as a good lot (according to the Slavic meaning), then the choice of a partner is entirely up to you. And a good lot in marriage depends precisely on the choice of a partner, since it is difficult to be happy with a drunkard, a cheater, a tyrant and other similar men. And if the choice is good, but you cannot cope with it, then this is not such a problem. The lot is good, but with yourself you can always do something … It's in your hands. Happy relationships are not always healthy, and in healthy ones, happiness is pounded into geometric progression. Bet on a HEALTHY relationship!
2. Marry the man of your dreams … I have heard women marry the men of their dreams many times. But then their dreams changed all the time. Men also changed. Dreams changed after marriage. While they were married, the women themselves changed, a lot began to understand what they did not like in a man. And they understood that someone else was needed, and this one had those shortcomings with which a woman could not get along. And they got out only after marriage. Hmm, but why did he have exactly SUCH flaws, with which it is difficult to get along? Because they did not prescribe them in their characteristics as a man. They wrote only the qualities that they dreamed of … In the column of shortcomings that would be portable, it would be necessary to enter acceptable qualities, otherwise the universe had to fulfill some order, there are no ideal ones, without shortcomings. And with all their virtues, men reflected the degree of a woman's love for herself. If she did not love, then she attracted the one who did not love. But that's not all. There are people who change a lot. The height may not match the height of the partner. How can this problem be solved? After all, values can change a lot. I think this speaks to the importance of tolerance for basic flaws. And about flexibility and the desire to negotiate. And I'll also talk about the Jungle Principle (later), and I think it will help a man to meet you in a relationship.
3. Let a man accept me for who I am, if he really loves me, I will not change … Do you pay attention to a man who comes on a date in leotards, dirty, fat, shaggy in old-fashioned clothes and so on? Will it be coyly feminine, will it be irresponsible, dreaming of putting your life on your shoulders or completely and completely getting into yours and there fixing everything endlessly criticizing you? Who drinks, takes drugs and walks, cheats on you at every step? That's it … He also wants a stylish, feminine woman, kind, soft, flexible, slender, leading a sober lifestyle, able to manage money, not sleeping with everything, who does not dream all day long how to sit at home with children, and push your husband to a high-status job … I think it looks very funny if a man spent whole days thinking about how to make you a high-status woman or how to make you a sexual goddess … both partners should see his dream)) well, not a dream, but your own type without alteration, since alteration will not work …
4. Finding a high-status man and staying at home with children is the true destiny of a woman. In fact, many men themselves admit that they are not attracted to a penniless woman. And in general, it very strongly binds a woman to a man and - weighs him down. And scares men. And it is not safe for the woman herself to be in such a dependent and vulnerable position. And in a healthy way - a couple should be suitable for each other, which means to be equal. Your task is to see yourself real, real (and not the one you want to become) and look for a man to match (the same as you are real). An unequal marriage is an unequal investment, otherwise you are not partners, but his toy … expensive, but a thing … or maybe cheap (admit it to yourself honestly, it happened) the day will come when you will not like this attitude.
5. Find the perfect man. The ideal is the sublime, unearthly. Individual standard, sample. Philosophical meaning is an image that exists in consciousness, imaginary, unreal, non-existent in reality. Is there a perfect man in the world? Perhaps you have met this … But why when a woman begins to live with the ideal, it becomes real - weak, angry, scattering dirty socks? This means that over time the halo of Magic disappears, and a real living man begins to emerge, who will nevertheless find something to irritate you … Your task is to choose the one whose shortcomings will be tolerated, accepted, not to go beyond your threshold of tolerance. For example, he kicked a kitten. You do not accept this at all, but you have forgiven him during the period of love. But the day will come when you will not be able to live with it. He will kick someone every day, you will not be able to stand it, because it is contrary to your values. You will think of re-educating him, quarreling with him, quarreling and so on, but he will not change. This is his value - it is acceptable to him. And here will be the stumbling block. Or a divorce or a really painful life together.
6. Came, saw, conquered - or Othello's passion. This is a separate topic. It is high time to do the cultural revolution (which is what I am doing)). Supported sick ideals of relationships, trauma, drama that have nothing to do with healthy, qualitatively different love is time to cancel !!! But we will discuss this later …
7. Relationships must be maintained throughout life, at all costs. A healthy woman knows how to end a relationship in which she is suffering and in which nothing can be changed. She is not afraid of loneliness, the absence of a father for her children. She understands that an unhappy marriage is deadly for her!
8. If a man is cheating, this is normal. There are healthy men who are loyal to their wives. And, for the most part, it is psychological health, the ability to build healthy relationships that leads a man to unified marriage. And many of the category of revelers simply follow the mass suggestion that if there are problems with his wife, it's okay if he changes, God himself, nature has prescribed for him. Or prestige, the desire to taste the forbidden fruit … Find a healthy man. But remember that then - you must be open to his sexual experiences and fantasies, so that instead of a hundred women, he was with you. How? We will discuss later …
9. The main thing is to really love. What is real? Didn't you build a relationship before and didn't really fall in love? You did it to the best of your ability. But that was your real, real. But if you think that you will experience a strong feeling with a certain man, then in fact there is nothing good about it. If this contains dopamines, adrenaline, passion, fantasies, illusions, expectations of some kind from a partner, then this is not something to strive for, but most likely it is something to leave from. After all, if you are interested in such a relationship in which there will be peace, then this is a matter of health, boundaries, rules, freedom, depth, sometimes sadness, sometimes boredom, especially after your previous stormy dramas, but later these relationships can be long and deep. But remember myth No. 7. We can never think that we are forever … For this is a reality in which the responsibility for our life lies with us, and not with the man, otherwise it is no longer health, but a disease. And we should be so comfortable with ourselves that we are not afraid to be left alone with ourselves again.
10. Relationships depend entirely on the woman. A dangerous trap if your future partner will involve you in such a sweet legend, a viscous fly in the ointment in your wonderful barrel of honey. Remember - this is not honey! This is all tar. And there is a red light alarm that blinked its bright eye if you ALREADY live with this suggestion. After all, I even heard this myth from a very famous male personality on the radio. How do you think, what is the percentage of the ratio of responsibility for the relationship? I will tell you now, and then you will have questions, but I will explain everything … 33% - w, 33% - m, 33% - God (Higher Power, Destiny, Lady Life) (Film "Blue Lagoon") Take a lot of responsibility for relationship - leads a woman to "love too strong", which is an Emotional-Spiritual Disease. (Rescue, Marilyn Monroe Syndrome or Addiction ….)
11. I will dream of a man, and the universe will immediately give me such a man. No, the universe will provide a number of unsuitable (approximately 100) men. Of these, you need to choose the most CAREFULLY. Do not fall in love until you see in miniature all the shortcomings of a man … Create tests … Check his intentions and his character. In the experience of many women, the universe immediately provides the wrong options, he is still preparing, while others are starting to fly like flies to honey … And it is important to observe the JUNGLE PRINCIPLE and say NO!
12. In a good pair, husband and wife spend all their time together. They have many common interests. It is true, coincidence of interests brings together, but … it is not a guarantor - a good couple and a long union. Interests and values can change dramatically over the course of a lifetime. And most importantly, the couple should just have a lot of rest from each other and spend time each in their own circle of support. And the husband cannot be your psychoanalyst, girlfriend and mother. As, however, and you. We must differentiate. Otherwise, such a mixing of roles will happen if you want to climb into the place of his friends, his confidant and parents, that it will be difficult to share these images with his own in a man's head again … Although in a deep, long and multifaceted relationship, a husband is a brother, a father, lover, son, and wife - sister, mother, daughter, mistress. But it's more sexually. That is, you understand - it's like the realization of sexual fantasies …
13. The man will be in marriage the same as on dates. In the beginning, the couple still strives to please each other. And both in most cases do not immediately reveal their true colors. Therefore, it takes time to test the character. Indeed, in miniature character flaws will still appear, but they must be looked at carefully and soberly (see paragraph 2). And later I will write how you can check the seriousness of a man's intentions. And if he lies, then it will immediately come to the surface. It may be painful, rainbow illusions will collapse, but it is useful to immediately part with such a man. Moreover, I will tell you later how to do it so that it doesn't hurt too much or not at all …