Good Trainings, Bad Trainings

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Actually, psychological training is a good thing. The work there is not as long and therefore not as deep as working with a personal therapist. And for many people this is a plus, because opening up in front of a stranger is uncomfortable and scary. Especially for someone who has never been to a psychologist. The training allows you to “test” the system

Why not?

Another obvious benefit of training is that you can listen to other people's stories and learn from them. It turns out that your problems are not at all so unique, but inherent in many people, and you should not be ashamed of them. Or, for example, you thought that you could not cope with life at all, but it turns out that you are a good fellow, and few could do that. And if this is a training on relationships, then here the group format of work is invaluable: you can analyze and work out interaction with other people online and find out how they react to you.

How do you distinguish a supposedly good psychological training from one that you definitely shouldn't go to?

Bad training:

Vague goals and objectives. What are we teaching? - Yes to everything! Dreams will come true. Desires come true. If there is no husband, we will find it. Thick - you will lose weight. Skinny - pump up. If you do not know how to achieve your goals, we will teach you.

The more varied and comprehensive the program, the more suspicious the event to which you are invited. Well, tell me honestly, would you go to an institute where they promise to teach philology, economics and geodesy at the same faculty? How about learning the same thing not in five years, but in a weekend?.. Intensive! Expensive, but fast! Let's be honest. They cannot, in the same place, at the same time, teach how to make money, establish relationships with the opposite sex, morally separate from their parents and gain inspiration for creativity.

The abundance of vague wording in the title and description of the training is the first warning sign. The notorious "personal growth training" is a favorite meme of professional psychologists. How tall? Where exactly and in what growth?.. Growth is gradual, long and usually quite painful. And quickly, expensively and using the same methods for all - this is, excuse me, a divorce for money.

To check, also read the reviews of the training. If there is no specifics, but one type of euphoria: "soared", "understood the importance of the team", "move, breathe, LIVE !!" - this should be alarming.

Good training:

A specific area of work is highlighted. Specific. Training about money. About mistakes in building relationships. About the role of my father's or mother's figure in my life. Etc.

The host does not promise to teach you everything. He does not swear that you will find a job in a week or a wife in a month. Competent and professional psychologists usually warn honestly: it does not depend only on them. They can only guarantee the opportunity to look at the problem from a different angle and understand something about themselves. And also privacy and security.

By the way, oh security.

Bad training:

You have heard that "extreme practices" are used in this training. For example, the cute exercise "Titanic". The coaches (sorry, I won't dare to call them psychologists) invite you to imagine that you escaped from a sinking ship in a boat in which your loved ones are sitting - for example, your mother and your child, or a child and a loved one, and so on. But the boat goes under water and you can only leave one person behind. And in a minute you are asked to decide who you will save and whom you will throw into the ocean. The clock is ticking. Decide.

I've always wondered: What does this exercise teach? I have no answer other than that it is wonderful teaches you to fall into a traumatic experience. A traumatic experience for money is an unparalleled proposition.

There are also "tough" methods such as shouting, insulting participants and calls in the spirit of "pull yourself together, rag."Some trainers (and, amazingly, some of their clients) think this is mega cool. And it seems to me - this is, I'm sorry, crap. When you are scared, humiliated, do not know what to expect the next moment - you will learn how to survive as much as possible. And this is the majority of us, with our cultural and historical background, and they can do it too well. You don't have to go to people who practice psychological sadism and strengthen your own masochism.

It is clear that when signing up for a training, you cannot foresee everything - you have not been there yet. If your acquaintances went, ask them directly. You can also get a feel for the general mood of the event by reading the feedback or the training presentation. If you see there harsh, humiliating phrases: "Brains for rent", "Our training is tough, we do not spare anyone here", "You will unlearn to chew snot and start acting" - with a high probability, and the training itself will be the same.

Good training:

First of all, this is a respectful attitude and a normal working atmosphere. You are not insulted. Do not discount. You are given honest but accurate feedback. This should be monitored by a coach, and a good coach usually selects adequate participants.

Bad training:

You will be offered to grow personally in a group of 50-60 people. You will most likely be told that the participants are divided into subgroups, and, they say, it's okay. In fact, in such a crowd, normal psychological work is simply impossible. Will you be able to talk about personal things, referring to a crowded subway car?.. Not to mention the fact that the coach will not be able to monitor the emotional state of each participant, and this is simply dangerous.

This is a dishonest and completely unprofessional format of work. I'm afraid it was created solely for the purpose of increasing the profits of the organizers.

Good training:

No more than 15 people. And the point. This number is explained by the laws of group dynamics: a larger group is divided into subgroups, and a single group work becomes impossible.

Bad training:

A stepped system, as in sects. Basic level, advanced level, bring a friend, etc. The most hellish option is when one of your friends went, followed by a second, followed by a third, and now they one by one call you on the phone to invite you to a free presentation. Do not go. At normal psychological training, participants will never be brainwashed to bite the next victim. Professional psychologists don't work like that at all.

Good training:

Borders and borders again. Psychological trainings are one-time (several hours, day, weekend) and longer. Long ones can last for several weeks and are usually held once a week. Before signing up for a long psychological training, an interview is usually held with each participant. Friends and close acquaintances will not be included in the same group, this interferes with work. Those who have unrealistic expectations, are aggressive, or have recently experienced major trauma and need therapy are likely to be rejected. But on bad training, you will meet all these people.

On good trainings there is no graded system, elitism and similar sectarian things - you can sign up for this training only after completing the previous one. You just go to the training or group that meets your current needs. And no one asks you to bring friends and get a discount.

Another hallmark of poor training is the black box program. You do not even know approximately what will happen at the event. It is clear that many trainings are the author's work of a psychologist, and no one will post the entire sequence of discussions and exercises on the Internet. But you should have at least a rough idea of what you will be doing all day for a lot of money.

- “But many of my friends went and talked”… I understand, it sounds very tempting. But please include critical thinking. Wait a month or two, or even better - half a year, and take a closer look at your friends who talked about how their life literally turned upside down. Most likely, you will find that their supposedly unique experience did not change them at all.

The guy who could not stay at any job for more than a month quit again. The girl who dreamed of finding love is lonely. A man in his thirties, dependent on his mother, shudders at every call. And most importantly, they did not even get a rough idea of where the roots of their problems came from. Because good psychological work is never built on euphoria and punching walls with your head.

If you want real changes - gradual, but real - go to good training. I would also recommend therapy. But if you dream of a magic pill … Maybe the sixth iPhone is better after all? It will bring small, but guaranteed changes to your life. And you will know exactly what you gave the money for.