BAD PSYCHOTHERAPIST OR BAD ADVICE ABOUT BAD PSYCHOTHERAPIST

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A popular topic today is warning clients in need of psychotherapeutic services about unprofessional, “bad”, exploitative therapists. I think it is necessary to cover such topics. But the lighting is careful, competent and thoughtful. I came across an article that aims to show clients which therapists to run away from. Some theses are correct, but some have caused outrage.

Thesis 1. You have never seen anyone else in the place where the therapist is receiving, that is, you are always alone

I do not agree with this thesis. First, the author does not explain why the client should run away from the therapist if he has never seen anyone in the place where the therapist is receiving. It can be assumed that the author of this thesis hints at the lack of client demand in this specialist. But even so, the lack of customer demand may be due to:

- With the very client's demand (for example, there are clients who willingly choose a therapist who says: "I make you happy in three sessions", in this case, the crowds at the reception area may talk about the infantilism of clients);

- With the beginning of the psychotherapeutic activity of a specialist (young specialists lack experience, but there is that very burning that leads some experienced specialists to burnout);

- With the therapist's unwillingness to work a lot (I know of such therapists who, evaluating their resource, take a limited number of clients and are focused only on long-term psychotherapy, do not engage in psychological counseling);

- With a desire to prevent meetings of clients in the corridor. I adhere to this tactic, it does not always work out, but I try to "breed" clients in order to avoid unnecessary anxiety, embarrassment and other phenomena that give rise to "triangle" situations. Let me give you an example. I work with clients for 50 minutes, not adhering to a "rigid" time setting with those who have too rigid a framework without a therapeutic framework, who are rigidly guided by plans, schedules, order; as well as those who express the experience of being superfluous, with the lack of experience of accepting not "for what", but "just like that", and adhering to, insisting on "Your time is up" with those who cannot constructively use 50 minutes of the therapeutic hour, " suddenly "remembering a very important thing five minutes before the end of the session," clinging "," sticking "," not accommodating ", who often have the problem that brought them to me, related to addiction (interpersonal, chemical, food), grandiosity, disorganization, ignoring the "reality principle". So, if, as a waiting hour for his therapeutic hour, there is a client who seeks to drag out the time of the session and sees that the client, who was at the reception before him, has been in the office for more than 50 minutes, the "addictive" has many questions, offenses, claims, doubts in the therapist's interest in his personality, in the "preference" of clients. This is just one example of why I try to organize my appointments in such a way that they do not meet.

Thesis 2. The therapist comments on your clothing style, hairstyle, make-up, advises what to wear and what hairstyle to do, invites you to buy from him or take some of his clothes

If the second part of the thesis (in bold by me) does not raise any questions, then the first part is doubtful. It all depends on the tone and appropriateness of the "comment". So, based on my practice, personal therapy and the experience of colleagues, I can say that turning to clothing style, hairstyle, makeup is a reliable marker of change / non-change in the client, as well as a way to support change (for many women who are mastering a female style of behavior, clothes, a way of self-presentation).

Thesis 3. You have very close friends in common with the therapist

In the therapeutic story "Seven Lessons of Sadness Therapy" I. Yalom takes into therapy a client with whom he has mutual friends, agrees to work in doubt, but, in the end, the therapy turns out to be successful, which has happened with many other lesser known therapists than I. Yalom. In such cases, there is a rule not to discuss therapy with friends.

Thesis 4. You saw your therapist in the locker room of the sports club, in the spa center, in the pool, etc. Have you seen a therapist doing sports or taking spa treatments and the like?

That is, if it so happened that the client accidentally saw the therapist in the locker room, then that's it - you need to run away from him. If this caused embarrassment or the therapist "fell" in the eyes of the client after being seen in such an "obscene" form, this should be brought to the session and turned into an opportunity to explore the client's personality.

Thesis 5. You have a feeling that you are a special, important, extremely interesting client for this therapist

Feelings of particularity are some of the important issues that require "work" with these sensations, but in no way a reason to escape from the therapist.

Thesis 6. The therapist accepts his former clients as his students in any sense

I don’t understand why, at the end of therapy, my former client cannot go to study at the department where I teach. It happens so often in life. A person undergoes personal therapy, at the end of which he decides to receive a psychological education, and it may happen that he comes to study with his therapist.

Thesis 7. The therapist talks to you, looks at you, touches you, acts with you in such a way that you feel like a sexually attractive object for the therapist

Thesis 8. The therapist talks a lot about himself, and you do not understand how this has to do with your problem and your therapy

Thesis 9. The therapist speaks freely and for a long time in response to your remarks, regardless of the content of your remarks, and it seems to you that he does not hear you, but is engaged in some kind of philosophical reasoning. Let me give you an example. The client is inactive, waiting for recommendations from the therapist. The therapist can provoke the client, starting to talk about himself, about the weather, "whatever", in order to stir up the client.

Thesis 10. The therapist seems cold, distant, fixated on something. Here the key word “seems”, this “seems” should be brought up for discussion. Sometimes the client really only “seems” that the therapist is “cold”, just as the client only “seems” that her spouse is cold with her.

When speaking about the criteria of “good” and “bad” therapist, it is important to consider the context in which something is said, done or not said and not done by the therapist, to take into account the sometimes striking difference between psychotherapeutic approaches, types of clients and types of their problems.