Bad Advice: How To Kill The Personality In Your Own Child

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Sometimes you think of writing an article on a certain topical topic, but somehow it doesn't get written. But then the client comes and after the text he asks to be written.

Struck me after the next consultation on these lines, I have long wanted to write "harmful advice".

It seems to me that similar instructions in different variations were given to every Soviet parent in the hospital. Someone threw them away, but very many used them as a guide to action, using the indisputable argument - "Everybody did it!"

Instruction from the series "harmful advice".

How to kill the personality in your own child?

Once he's born, decide who and what he will be. This beautiful look must be flawless! Imagine it! If you are overwhelmed with pride, then you have hit the mark and you can begin to act while the child lies across the bed. Time to carve your own ideal pattern.

So:

• No way, never praise him. Well, if only, in exceptional cases. Otherwise, he will be arrogant, you will not end up with trouble.
• Better yet, criticize him, tell him about his shortcomings, more often so that he knows about them and corrected!
• If the shortcomings are incorrigible, let him come to terms with his fate in advance, so that avoid disappointment.
• Never tell a girl that she is beautiful! She must choose a worthy profession, not shameful.
• Never tell a boy that he is smart! To avoid thinking that he is smarter than you and did not begin to be headstrong.
• Be sure to compare your child with other guys who are better than him. This way he will always have an incentive. to become better!
• Don't buy toys unless your child asks for them. And if he asks, indicate to him the price and convince him that it is better to buy more useful things. This is teach economy.
• Teach your child to be frugal. For example, you don't need to buy him a new sweater if your brother's or your youth's sweater can still be worn. Explain to him that this money is better spent on something more important. It is important to learn prioritize.
• He must sleep and eat by the hour! Hang up no later than 9. It is necessary to accustom from the cradle to discipline!
• You need to finish everything! Nothing should remain on the plate. He must learn to appreciate the work of parentswho made money on this mess.
• No pocket money! A child can buy cigarettes with them, but he will not tell you. You don't need these problems, right?
• Let him do everything around the house, get used to homework! You can even delegate all household chores to him. Let be knows the value of labor.
• Release for a walk only when all the lessons are done and all household chores are completed. He must deserve walk.
• If your child brings 3s or even 2s, he should know that this is very, very bad and ashamed … The belt, just in case, should hang in a place visible to the child.
• It is best if your dad will use the belt. Mom can tell you the number of strokes.
• If dad is not there or he is away, moms can use the rope.
• Never let your child interrupt adults and talk until he is given the floor. This is teaches respect for elders.
• Don't let your child cry, especially the boy. It teaches endure all the troubles … Boys are future, not crying.
• If you are afraid that something will happen to him without your supervision, then you have a reason. Do not let go of yourself a step! At least until he graduates from school.
• If you want to take a break from your child, you can send him to camp. But keep in mind that he can pick up lice there, get sick, contact the bad guys. Therefore, perhaps he will be better in the village, where grandparents will accustom him to agricultural work.
• A child should grow up to be kind, sympathetic, well-mannered. If you notice that he is insolent to you, expresses disagreement, insists on his own, throws tantrums, gets angry - immediately stop it harshly! Even if you have to use a belt and threats. The child must be obedient!
• If you find it difficult to make threats, here are some tips in case you don't listen at all: "I'll give it to the policeman", "I'll hand it over to a boarding school", "I'll give it to the wolves in the forest", "I'll give it to Uncle", "I left, but you stay" and etc.
• Keep a close eye on who your child is friends with. Forbid him to be friends with those who, in your opinion, are not worthy of it. He must learn to choose your friends! It's okay even if he doesn't have friends. After all, mom and dad are better than any friends, they will never harm their child.
• If the child comes in tears and talks about his problems, sit him next to you and tell him that this is all nonsense and will pass quickly, this will calm him down.
• Your opinion is always more important than your child's opinion. You know better what he needs. After all, he still does not know anything about life. Deciding where to study, which clubs to go to is your responsibility, not his. After all, you have more life experience.
• Don't be afraid to lose your temper! It's okay if the child is afraid, next time the fear may be him. stop from unworthy actions.
• Your child should be like this and behave in a way that makes you proud, not ashamed. Listen to the opinions of neighbors and other strangers about your child. After all, strangers always know better what you may not notice, and therefore not stop.
• …

You can go on and on and write a whole treatise. But that's enough. Rules and prohibitions, stereotypes and prejudices, anxieties and fears … and it was all done with the best intentions:

- out of frantic love for their children..

- shame that they are "wrong"

- the fear that something is bound to happen to them.

And, alas, it always happens if the goal (see title) is achieved. It happens when they become adults by their biological age … and the baton passes from parents to spouses, for example.

And I noticed that they tell this trash almost always with a smile, as if it is funny or as if they apologize for this theater of the absurd, sometimes treacherous tears come, but they quickly try to pacify them. Good girls don't cry … and boys don't.