2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If today was your last day,
And tomorrow was too late.
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Nickelback
There is an exercise in psychology that helps to determine what is important to a person and what is secondary. On the awareness of mortality and that it is not worth putting things off on the back burner. I met his options different. Here is one of them.
The client is asked to write down all the goals, desires, dreams that he wants to realize in his life. Then they say: “Imagine that you have 10 years left to live. Which of these will you begin to implement? Then the period decreases, until one day remains.
Personally, I have never liked such exercises, their meaning, essence, what they want to convey to a person. I can also include here: “here and now”, “enjoy every moment”, “do not postpone until tomorrow, because tomorrow may not come”. Yes, they are correct, they carry a good, correct message - so that a person does not waste his time on trifles, does not wait for a better moment, but acts now, today, live actively and joyfully. But…
There are questions and doubts.
"Here and now". A very good thing, especially during consultations and trainings. Only here it is not quite suitable for permanent leadership in life. A person who will not plan, predict the consequences of his actions, may come to a dead end. As E. Nightingale said, if a ship has no course, it will run aground. Likewise, a person - without a goal in the future, without plans and hopes, living one day, only now, only here - will not budge.
"Enjoy every moment." Great words. But not always. If someone who has just lost a loved one begins to follow this advice, then it will simply be violence against himself. Sometimes a person needs suffering. It also has meaning and importance, as V. Frankl wrote. However, a person still cannot enjoy pain and suffering. No matter how hard you try, you won't be able to avoid the bad all your life. It's one thing to enjoy a traffic jam, rain, or a canceled meeting. But there are events that can never and can never bring anything but pain.
"Do not postpone until tomorrow, because tomorrow may not come." As soon as I hear / read such a phrase, I remember films of disasters (when a comet or an asteroid flies to Earth).
How do people behave when they know that there will be no tomorrow and they have nothing to lose? For the majority, moral norms disappear. Do what you want. Even if it's illegal? Even if it does harm to another? Or to the person himself? After all, you can simply revel in unconsciousness, get stoned and inject yourself. If you feel like it today, and tomorrow I might die, why not? But let's go from the other side. A person wants to create something large-scale: build houses, write a novel, raise children, make a film. This will take a long time - six months, a year, decades. And if there is no tomorrow? If he dies tomorrow? Why then start like this? Or - you can try to squeeze everything into one day, spitting on the family, rest. Although raising children in one day can not be squeezed in. Maybe write detailed instructions for all occasions … in one day.
Therefore, each of these sayings must be used in your life with an eye and in the place.
"Here and now". How, based on what is, create what the soul strives for? How, guided by plans for the future, to behave today? Decompose the situation on the shelves, figure out what is important and what is not. Calm down, allocate time - this is what "here and now" can give. After all, a person needs to see the perspective. Otherwise, we will not be any different from animals.
"Enjoy every moment." Not everyone. Not everyone. But to notice the moments that you can really enjoy is quite real. Seeing little things - rainbows, flowers, reflections of the sun in the water, the smile of a passer-by - because they give beauty and can make us smile. For everyone, these little things are different. And although we call them small things, they are important enough. After all, without them, life is gray and boring. With their help, we can temporarily disconnect from questions, doubts, negative thoughts, we can relax and enjoy if we focus on them.
"Do not postpone until tomorrow, because tomorrow may not come." Not certainly in that way. Say the most important words to your loved ones every day, hug and delight. To live and remember that today, now is not a draft. It is impossible to rewrite, change, relive. Therefore, you should not wait for a good moment, a fairy-tale fairy, an angel, a prince (who else is there to save and help in fairy tales?). Do everything according to your strength and capabilities today, without forgetting about other important things.
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