2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When you open your eyes and look at your hands that have everything to get out of here. This agonizing wait is tearing me apart. You are trapped in a waiting room, a room of questionable deception, lured here by the sheer truth of fear and hatred outside this cramped but very safe room. This someone who keeps you here, let's call him "blocker", blocked not you, but your feelings, locked them with your hands in you, did everything cleanly, giving you no reason to doubt his dirty intentions. He put the key in your hands, with which you yourself locked yourself in a room of emotional insensitivity, blocking yourself from fear and pain, knocking you down from the wind of truth with powerful gusts, whipping you over the delicate skin of your cheeks, undressing you on the go, and at the same time protecting you from the influence of the blocker.
The blocker knew that you would close the door from the inside, which was previously open and, in principle, did not prevent you from losing your temper, but you, you yourself took this locking key consisting of emotions and feelings and locked this door, keeping pain, fear and anger in yourself, in the seeming warmth and comfort of this small room for two. He knew that you would accept this key, a duplicate of his own soul, which henceforth corresponds to your well-being. He knew this simply because he is a part of you, and he knows you as yourself, and you do not know him. By denying your feelings, blocking them, you thereby deny the existence of the blocker and thereby make it unattainable for your influence on him, but he directly guides you in his zone of control - the room of dubious deception.
It is paradoxically easy and absurd to act on a blocker. The whole difficulty is that he is a part of you, and you do not even know about his existence. This is not a shadow boxing, this is a fight with the one who casts a shadow. This fight from one round in which wins by turning the key to one side or the other, pushing the door or pulling it towards you, that's all. It is very easy to understand the logic and essence of the blocker, you just have to understand what you are afraid of and what infuriates you. This is the path of the blocker, on which he has followed, without fear of being exposed. On the contrary, he wants to be revealed, he wants to escape from the cramped room in which you, with your own hands, locked yourself and him with you. This is a game in which the most important thing is not solved, what is outside the game, namely, the problem itself due to which you were blocked in the waiting room, putting your life on pause. The essence of the blocker is your essence, your fears and pain, and you can unblock them by acting on them with anti-fear and anti-pain.
Heal, not maim and kill. Heal yourself, heal your blocked feeling center, your crippled emotions and your terrible fear. Heal with yourself, your acceptance and warmth, recognition and patient attitude towards a slow recovery. You can unblock the blocker by acting on its weakest point - unblocking your feelings at your own fear. And this is really very scary. In the meantime, turn the key with your hand in your pants pocket. You sit quietly, breathe evenly. Everything is regular. Everything is quiet.
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