2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Seven years ago, when I was just starting to practice as a coach, I launched my first project, to which people from all over the world quickly began to subscribe. I was dumbfounded by this success. I asked to transfer payment for participation in the project to my card. When specifying the card number in personal messages, I was wrong in numbers over and over again. My hands were trembling, my heart was jumping out of my chest …
Is my job really worth the money?..
The myth of bullshit
"Normal work is to stand at the machine in the factory or work as an accountant in the office."
Working with clients, I have come across many variations of "bullshit". You have no idea what people can consider "bullshit": medical practice, psychological counseling, design, stylist work, consulting a Feng Shui master, accompanying a sports coach, visits of a breastfeeding consultant.
In the old Soviet film "Window to Paris", heroes from the USSR during the nineties magically find themselves in an apartment in Paris. The owner of the apartment, a sophisticated Parisian woman, makes her living by perpetuating departed domestic animals, she makes stuffed animals out of them as a keepsake for the owners. Complete garbage in the eyes of a Soviet person, but what is surprising - she is paid for it! She is appreciated and loved, she is an expert in her field.
If you get paid for your work, if your clients appreciate you, then let it be bullshit a hundred times.
Help should always be free
“I help people to solve their problems, I am a good person, and it’s really not difficult for me …”
Under the "help" can be the creation of a design project for the premises, the services of a stylist, any consultation, a visit to a young mother to help her straighten her breasts … Anything, any service is "helping those in need" in this help. "And help should be disinterested." But not the one with which you earn your bread.
At one of the specializations in psychology, our teacher asked the psychologists to raise their hands. Then she clarified - "those who advise and receive money for it", from the forest of hands were skinny few. Being educated or interested in psychology does not make you a psychologist. A psychologist is a profession. And professional activity implies payment.
It's probably expensive …
In my experience, it can be as expensive as you want. And two hundred rubles can be expensive and twenty thousand is quite acceptable to yourself. It is important to set the price for which you are willing to work.
Money burns your hands …
I know many cases from practice when people lost money, practically on purpose threw it away, unconsciously poured it into something - paid for and did not go, got involved in some unthinkable repairs, lost things, bank cards, gave half of their earnings to old women near the metro - in general, they did everything to get rid of the hated money as quickly as possible.
When it is possible to find out why this is all of a sudden, options come up: “I have a feeling that I stole this money”, “I deceived people”, “I am still not an adequate specialist to take money for my work”, “which of me is a professional …"
“What money? Have mercy, mother …"
"A normal person should always have money, he should never need it." But at the same time, he should not ask for money for his services either. And God forbid, name the price.
“A good specialist will be thanked anyway” This conviction came from the practice of bribes and money in the pocket of doctors - it is understood that money is not “payment”, but “gratitude”.
From the same opera, you can't name the price, it's a shame. But often specialists, without naming a price, hopes that they will be paid a larger sum for their work than what they would have named. Practice shows that the opposite happens more often. Or for a large amount they are waiting for something that you were not going to give.
“You can't be greedy, a grabber, a huckster, you have to do a lot and ask a little. God (the universe) sees everything and will reward."
For 11 years I was the head of a charitable organization that helps abandoned children and families in crisis. Good deeds for three generations to come. But I only had money when I earned it as a speech therapist, defectologist, author of a television program, coach, psychotherapist.
Nobody pays you to be a good person. You are paid for your work and quality work done.
Fear of envy
As a rule, it is not easy for us to experience the presence in another of what we really need. In this case, the world seems to be unfair, and this person is just a bastard, confirming the injustice of this world. It is not clear why the universe and God give him all the blessings of the world, but I do not. Why? What's wrong with me?! It hurts, lonely, fragilely ashamed … Also this lucky man (who has money) looms before my eyes … He would go where far away with his happiness … so as not to stir up my pain.
If this is a relationship that is valuable to you, it is important to have a conversation. And say - what it cost you to come to what you have now. That behind everything "suddenly and at once", as a rule, there are investments, and everything has its own price.
If it's not a close relationship, just don't be proud of what you have.
The infection effect works well with close friends - some friends will definitely be inspired by your successes, and you will become their first sign, a beacon, proof that everything is possible, the main thing is to wish and go.
Fear of demands and expectations from loved ones and friends. Shame and guilt
Mom may demand more than I am giving her now; refusal to support a brother can be perceived with hostility; friends have the impression that since I make money, I can (and should) borrow any amount for an indefinite period; a charity neighbor looks at me reproachfully if I'm not ready to donate a piece of my family pie right now to good causes.
"Good boys and girls should share." Share Now!
"Do you have, share with your brother!"
"Mom has done so much for you, can you buy her a dress?"
“Children should support their parents. If you have money, take on the entire maintenance of your parents."
Society taxes you on your success.
But in cases of moral tax, it's up to you to decide who and how much to give you.
The longer I work, the more I discover completely surprising reasons why people, having opportunities, do not have money.
I agree, there are cases when the cat cries out for opportunities, when you need to contrive a lot to have this money. But more often we stand in front of a stone wall of our convictions, tormented by fear, shame and guilt.
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