2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Among many parents, the question of sleeping with a child in the same bed becomes relevant. Indeed, many parents of a couple with their babies do not see anything wrong with this.
In the past, this phenomenon was very common, and not because parents wanted closeness with their child, but because there was simply no separate room, and even a bed.
Now conscientious parents choose to sleep with their children in the same bed, and doctors often recommend this.
I can assume that most often parents sleep with their children, who during the Soviet times, at a very young age, were given to a nursery or grandmothers for upbringing, whose childhood years remained in that country.
The system of power not only did not support family ties, but in many cases punished it, for example, the son of an enemy of the people, renounced his father, etc. Ideology was valuable, but not personality and individuality.
Those who are familiar with generic constellations understand that the system strives for balance, and children and parents strive for each other. Sleeping together makes the baby feel safe and brings peace of mind to both baby and mom and dad.
What about sex?
Very often, in front of couples who sleep with a child in the same bed, the question arises whether it is worth having sex with a baby. Of course, there are tons of other places where you can do this, on the floor or in the kitchen. But, I will try to explain sex in bed with a child from the perspective of a psychologist.
First, if a child is awake, sex is out of the question, even if he is still a baby. Children imprinted in their minds everything they saw and in such a way that no adult would even think of it. And sex can be interpreted by the child's psyche not as passion, but as aggression, mockery of the mother, especially if she screams at this time. This scares the child, and in the future there may be problems in relations with the opposite sex, in establishing contact with them and rejection of oneself, especially if it is a girl.
If the child is asleep, sex in bed becomes a more acceptable option, but I still don't recommend it. Sexual energy is erotically colored, strong male and female feelings are not meant for children.
Sleeping with a child in bed and hidden conflicts in the family
Sometimes, sleeping with a child in the same bed can hide some kind of family conflict. The dad can say that the child is interfering with his sleep and thereby go to sleep on the sofa. Very often couples avoid sexual relations in this way. Paying attention to the child, husband and wife does not need to switch attention to each other, to solve previously encountered problems. This situation is very dangerous, since the baby becomes involved in the relationship of adults, his anxiety increases, and diseases may occur. But what, the child is sick, parents have no time to quarrel, you need to take care of him.
Sleeping Together: Positive Meaning
Sharing a child's sleep with a parent is an opportunity for the baby to feel protected, to gain an experience of intimacy and emotional stability. It must be understood that such a result is possible only with the mutual consent of the child and the parents, that is, it should be convenient for everyone.
Equally important is the fact that sleeping together with a child reduces the risk of postpartum depression in mothers, provides emotional closeness between family members, and makes breastfeeding easier.
From SW. psychologist
Pavlenko Tatiana
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