2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Is it possible to live life without regretting anything? I think no. After all, negative emotions are an integral part of the human psyche, this is how we gain important experience. Can mistakes, disappointments and doubts be avoided? Hardly. And such a sterile life is unlikely to bring you satisfaction.
Yes, we would gladly avoid many situations that left scars in our hearts, but they taught us to choose, set boundaries and priorities, appreciate beauty and move on, no matter what. Unfortunately or fortunately, life is not a rough draft that can be rewritten in white. Every act and its consequences, including negative ones, shape our personality. Of course, there are situations beyond our control, but who we will become and what we will learn from these "lessons" is up to us.
Each of us has something to say to ourselves, young and inexperienced, 10, 20, 30 years ago. So what can you do today to fill your life with meaning? I will start this list, and you will complete it in the comments, please.
1. Get to know and love yourself
The main thing in life is to appreciate and love yourself. This is not about selfishness. This is about self-knowledge. We spend many years studying the world around us: mastering the necessary professions, taking loans, buying cars and real estate - each time carefully collecting opinions and recommendations, checking ratings and trying to make decisions as consciously as possible. At the same time, most often we forget about the most important thing - about ourselves.
Do you know yourself? What are your strengths and weaknesses, growth points and potential opportunities? Are you acting on a whim or taking parental covenants on faith? Are you learning from your mistakes or are you choosing other people's patterns of behavior? Do you accept yourself "as is" or are you constantly gnawing at your own imperfection and inability to live up to certain ideals? Appreciating and loving yourself means knowing who you are, what is important to you, where and why you are going and who you would like to see next to you. It means accepting yourself "as is," but striving to develop those aspects that seem necessary and important in a given situation. This means listening to yourself and being sensitive to the needs of the soul and body, being able to stop in time and replenish the missing resource, without bringing oneself to burnout for the sake of imposed stereotypes.
It is equally important to learn how to invest in yourself - time, money, quality food, emotions. These are all resources to help you achieve your goal. Which? Be happy, of course. This is actually the only purpose we live for. Because everything we do is aimed at satisfying a need called "self-worth" - the realization that we are needed, important, and it is not in vain that we live on Earth. Understanding that life is not lived in vain is an important aspect of self-realization.
2. Grow up
In order not to regret anything, it is important to learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility. Yes, many events take place against our will, and although we are far from always to blame for what happened, we are responsible for the further development of events.
The adult position is constructive. She obliges to look for answers to the question: "what to do next?" The child's infantile position is destructive - it seeks to find someone to blame and do nothing to correct the situation. It is completely normal to be sad, angry, offended, but after having lived through these stages, it is necessary to move on, concentrating on moving forward, and not on freezing in the state of a victim.
3. Enjoy the moment
Stop rushing and putting off pleasure for later. Start enjoying your life today. Take time to do what really makes you happy. Petting a puppy, hugging a child, sailing or kicking a ball on the soccer field is essential to feel alive. Isn't that the point?
4. Learn to make decisions and say no
Sooner or later, we all find ourselves "victims of circumstances." To avoid such situations or learn to get out of them as quickly as possible and with minimal losses, it is important to learn how to make decisions without regard to the opinions of others, say no in time, understand your priorities and not be shy about setting boundaries.
Any interaction - in a pair or a group - is built on the principle of gears. If one begins to rotate in the other direction, either the others adjust, or the whole structure breaks down. Therefore, you do not need to constantly blame others for your troubles and failures, feeling like a cog in a ruthless ecosystem. Any gear has the ability to declare itself and change the surrounding reality. And if it is impossible to function effectively and be happy in the ecosystem, you can always leave the game and start building new relationships, where it will be easy and comfortable. Do you remember that the main goal is to be happy?
5. Exhale in time
Everyone has their own definition of success, but there are general rules: set goals, distinguishing between the important and the secondary, correctly allocate resources, learn to express your opinion without devaluing the knowledge and values of others, and distinguish between your own and others' areas of responsibility.
In management and psychology, there is a so-called 60/40 rule. In time management, it means that 60% of the time is devoted to planned activities, and 40% to spontaneous situations that are beyond our control. In behavioral psychology, we are talking about responsibility: 60% are borne by you, and 40% are outside your control. Therefore, you do not need to take 100% control over everything and everything - this is impossible. Learn to breathe out in time, realizing that you have done the maximum possible.
6. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
They are inevitable. But life is most often poisoned not by them, but by regrets about missed opportunities. Let me tell you a secret: the possibilities are endless. The main thing is not to dwell on defeats. And then new doors will surely open, there will be a chance and new people will come to the place of the departed, next to whom you can feel happy.
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