2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Not so long ago, a simple but very revealing experiment was carried out in the United States. In the student auditorium, a glass of hot coffee was placed on desks. And before the students took a sip from their glass, they were told: whoever wants, can exchange his coffee for a chocolate bar. There were about 5% of those willing to make such an exchange. If you think that the reason for this is such a love of coffee, or not a love of chocolate, you are wrong. In a neighboring lecture hall, he conducted a similar experiment, only instead of coffee, the students were given chocolates, and with the opportunity, respectively, to exchange them for a glass of coffee. There were again only 5% willing
This experiment shows what a strong resistance a person has in front of any changes. And this is biologically understandable, the body is trying to save energy, because any novelty requires the brain to work: laying new neural pathways, concentrating attention, finding a solution, etc. And the work of our brain requires a lot of energy. But on the other hand, it is precisely this intense work of the brain that allows us to maintain our mental activity for a longer time, to be more adaptive to different situations, to make our life diverse and interesting. A person who ceases to notice and introduce novelty into his life quickly turns into an old man. Not in a wise old man, but in an old man. Such a person ceases to notice new opportunities around him, he does not have enough energy for new achievements and changes.
One of the important phenomena in life, which is given special importance in Gestalt, is choice. Rather, the ability to choose. It seems to us that we always make decisions on our own, make our own choices. However, is it so? Our habits, our script (read, family psychological traditions passed down from generation to generation), our psychological defenses and resistances, all our experiences (and experiences of successes and experiences of trauma) all influence the choices we make today. All of the above is at the same time our supports, which help to understand reality and somehow manage it, and our own constraints, which create a kind of "corridor". A "corridor" outside of which everything seems impossible, so we choose from only a very small number of options. In other words, very often we do what can be called "pseudo-choice" - an action out of habit, regardless of the situation "here and now."
Why is that bad? Firstly, it is ineffective: we do not notice the specifics of the situation, we do not see its possibilities or, on the contrary, threats. Secondly, we are not present in such cases with our whole Personality, we seem to live such moments only slightly. And if this is the usual state of a person - then he spends his life "in a dream" - he is not present in the here and now, but reacts to situations as if he is still in the past. In the process of undergoing Gestalt therapy, a process occurs, which is called the expansion of the zone of awareness. This "corridor" becomes wider, windows appear in its walls and the client, surprised, learns that, it turns out, one can still live like this, and this way, and in completely different ways, and not just as he is used to. In order for this to begin to happen, we need to begin to notice the novelty. Notice, be aware and let it into your life. After all, Newness is what is happening now and in a new way, it is a marker of changes.
It is clear that the true choice is freedom, this is efficiency, this is more flexible adaptation, after all, this is a right and it is possible to live OWN life!
Example. A man named, say, Erast. From childhood I learned that men do not cry or complain. And when he tried to ask his parents for help, or tell them about his problems and fears, he received “support” only in the form of moralizing, and accusations “it was my own fault,” “I had to think first,” and so on. What is the likelihood that, already in adulthood, Erast will avoid situations where he will need to ask for help, admit his mistakes, and get support? I think the chance is decent enough. Perhaps even our hero will experience various neurotic experiences in situations where he needs to help someone. For example, to start reading lectures or to inflate with their own importance, or vice versa, it will try to save and support everyone and everything, as if compensating for the lack of support and acceptance of that little Erast, which he once was.
But can we say that Erast makes a choice to react and act this way? Or is it still a pseudo-choice, an act of habit? In order to change and stop playing out his childish scenario today, he will have to meet, realize and somehow accept his forgotten feelings, notice the novelty that is now and somehow assimilate it into his life. And then make a CHOICE.
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