About The Continuity Of Being, Trauma And Dissociation

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Video: About The Continuity Of Being, Trauma And Dissociation

Video: About The Continuity Of Being, Trauma And Dissociation
Video: Dissociative disorders - causes, symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, pathology 2024, March
About The Continuity Of Being, Trauma And Dissociation
About The Continuity Of Being, Trauma And Dissociation
Anonim

Psychologist, St. Petersburg

What is “continuity of being”? This is when you wake up, and the world is in place, he did not even think to disappear or change catastrophically. This is when you light a burner, and it is not going to explode. When the air does not run out for sure, the body will not suddenly fail, and loved ones will not suddenly die. When you wish "see you tomorrow" and there is no doubt about its coming. Life will not go into sudden cracks

And yet you do not end yourself. The past does not slip through your fingers, leaving emptiness and confusion as soon as you turn the page. The traversed path settles down in bunches of experience, supplying with self. Inside you are in the company of past selves, friends and relatives - in the arms of connections. This umbilical cord goes not only into personal history, but also extends into the present. You are "wide" and "extended". As if chronically woven into the universe. And somewhere inside a small twig does not tremble, afraid to break off.

It is something invisible in the background that provides support under the feet of my existence. And most importantly, I don’t think about all this and never thought about it, as long as the world is reliable and predictable. It's like with health - it begins to "exist" for me only when something happens to it.

At the same time, regular natural disasters occur in life. The first parting, betrayal, the death of elderly relatives and many other side effects of being a human being - everything leaves bloody scratches on the canvas of my I. Patterns of such scratching are usually called “life experiences”. Such wounds make us deeper and a little sadder. As long as it doesn't take away our ability to rejoice and have fun, everything is going fine.

But things can happen in life that we didn't subscribe to. This should not be the case in the universe bequeathed to us. Something unexpected and excessive appears that my world cannot contain. Such frames can burst into the plot of the film that damage the film itself. Events that are impossible to experience become traumatic, "perforate" the picture, forming gaps in the experience of oneself. Reality "blinks" at such moments.

If these gaps are insignificant, then “rabbit holes” appear on the territory of my psyche, which it will bypass.

In the worst case, I am completely thrown out of the usual stream of life into a parallel dimension, where time is frozen, the world is alien, and I am not myself. As if my essence was ripped out of the usual contexts.

The human haven remained on the other side of the screen, and I look at everything through the TV in a foreign room. Isolation and emptiness are the only neighbors. Harsh affect silently "screams" through obscure emotional and bodily distress signals (if they are at all perceptible), and loneliness is irresistible - there is no such bridge that would return me to the familiar (lost) human world.

And even the word "loneliness" does not quite fit - it emanates from the accessibility of the world of people, we just are not together. Between the "lonely" and "isolated" / "torn out" - a chasm length in itself. In the second case, in order to return from the existential looking glass back "home", you will have to do a difficult job.

It's one thing when I am thrown into the looking glass as an adult, but I have a “feeling of home” where I can swim and return. Another is when a similar bombing of inconceivables occurs at the dawn of life. And the zones through the looking glass are the rooms of the house itself or most of it.

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