2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Do you know what is the hardest part of betrayal? These are tender feelings towards a traitor.
How simple it would be if that incredible disappointment, which so painfully fell after the shock of the news, would incinerate all warm feelings to nothing. There is no love, anger and disappointment remained, they turned the page and went.
But no.
I miss and love all the same. He was an important person. Was good. Hopes were for some kind of joint experience. And if he also promised a bunch…. at …
And in the left ear the voice of an old Jewish grandmother says: "No, Olenka, we don't need this, he showed himself 100%, it is impossible to build anything with him." General conflict.
It's hard.
What to do?
Here's what helps me:
First, do not forbid yourself to mourn this love, hope. It's okay to be bored. After all, there was a lot of good things. They gave a lot to each other.
Second, don't forbid yourself to get angry. Anger in this case is a good defense “from assholes”. These are the boundaries.
Third, it is good to anchor this experience so that the "protection from assholes" will work in time.
Fourth, allow yourself bloody fantasies. You do not need to implement them, but it is very healing to slap in the face in your fantasy with high quality. You can hit the pillow, draw caricatures, my favorite is photo-toads, come up with nicknames, write stories. Anything that will help to respond and relieve tension inside.
The next step is to deal with frustration
Disappointment is a very cool thing.
First, it's about reality. Disappointment destroys illusions, contributes to a clear vision of the situation, the opposite person.
But there is also, secondly, which may not have a very good effect on the subsequent choice of a person. When the degree of disappointment is so great that he no longer sees the point in the relationship. "Everything is ashes," "they will still betray."
You need to work with this, tk. this approach will not lead to anything good.
In this matter, I like memories of good experiences … Since childhood.
If we are talking about love - remember all your love, from the very first, the most romantic, platonic. There must be something beautiful in the experience. Necessarily. You will see, feel how you are filled with a resource.
When it comes to friendship, you have had good times and loyal friends. Even in the kindergarten, in the yard, at school, at the institute. Were!
If these are business partners, remember how you worked together as a student to pass coursework and exams. What, didn't it happen? After all, something like that was obligatory. Where you helped each other, helped out.
Based on these memories, this experience, you need to go further. Boldly. But being in reality. Applying the right anchors "from an asshole" and believing that there are normal people, that there will be a great relationship, a pleasant experience.
So, mourn, cry out, make an anchor, relieve tension, work with disappointment
And one more paradoxical point: give thanks!
Betrayal is a very good kick for development. A few steps away. It hurts a lot, but also effective. Can be used to your advantage.
Good hour!
Everything will definitely work out!
Recommended:
Can I Trust My Husband After My Husband's Betrayal And Reconciliation?
In my psychologist's office, the question sounds every day: “Do you think, after my husband’s betrayal and reconciliation with him, can be sure that we have really saved the family forever? Is there any guarantee that my husband understood everything, made the right conclusions for himself and will never again hurt me by cheating or leaving the family?
Why Am I Not Afraid Of Betrayal And Meanness
"They only betray their own" French proverb One of the most traumatic experiences is the pain of betrayal. Such an event can radically change life - a person ceases to trust, becomes isolated. Betrayal is most often considered treason, but it can be abandonment in trouble and failure to fulfill previously assumed obligations.
Postpartum Depression And Communication. Causes, Symptoms And How To Deal With It?
Postpartum depression and communication. Psychologists are dealing with an unusual trend: despite the fact that over the past twenty years the life of a woman-mother (especially a housewife mother) has become noticeably easier, the number of women complaining of depressive and panic disorders (and taking antidepressants) is steadily growing
Sorrow, Loss And Betrayal
What is desired is not achievable Davin is thirty-eight years old. His father was an architect, his brother became an architect, and Devin himself received an architectural education and served as an architect for a time. He was so often sad, experiencing loss and betrayal that he no longer knew if he had a soul left.
How To Survive Betrayal, Betrayal, Loss And Start Living?
If a person asks the question "How to live further?", He probably had to endure a strong and traumatic shock to the psyche - the loss of a loved one (or separation), a favorite job, an affair with which there were many hopes, betrayal or any other events that "
