2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
All children are mischievous. And in a year, and in three, and in five years. The reasons may be different: checking the parents for "strength" (and what will happen if I break this rule, what will happen if "not", but I will do it anyway), the child's curiosity, in which there is no internal barrier of any dangers and self-limitations, attracting attention when parents are busy with "more important things", excessive demands of parents or when there are too many of them …
But the essence does not change from this. Children have been mischievous, mischievous, and will be mischievous. What to do? I want to share my experience of communicating with my child and nullifying harm in different situations. Of course, like every mother, I want the child to do something right, avoid unnecessary mistakes, obey the parents. But at the same time, I clearly understand that he himself must learn from his mistakes, have a choice, draw conclusions from his wrong behavior and be aware of the consequences. But sometimes he does not hear at all - neither the consequences, nor the choices that I offer him. What to do?
The method of absurdity will help in your thoughts and appeals in relation to the child. And plus to this add a sense of humor. A child who is capricious, in a bad mood, and harmful does not hear your comments, your suggestions, your conclusions … Therefore, he needs to be switched from this. And as soon as possible. What is the method of absurdity? I call it bad advice. Begin to reverse each thought (comment, sentence). For example, your child does not want to go to bed and desperately resists your attempts to put him to bed. Calm down and say seriously: “You should never sleep! Never!". Or the child hits the pillow with his fist. Your reaction: “Come on, knock it out, there will be dust … Come on stronger! And then the dust will fly into your nose kaaaak, and kaaaak you will sneeze! " The child's reaction is laughter. He hears all the absurdity of the statement, begins to laugh, the tension to defend his behavior and to be harmful goes away. True, not right away. But the child eventually realizes that the mother is no longer wasting her time on persuasion, attempts to stop doing something. Therefore, in this case, it will no longer work to draw his attention to your person by improper behavior as harmfulness. Plus, the overall emotional background between you and your child is changing. Instead of irritation, anger, you feel relaxation, the child also ceases to be "stubborn" and do out of spite.
Perhaps someone will have a question: "Am I encouraging the child's behavior to behave in the wrong way thanks to the harmful advice that I give him?" Not at all. Children love to laugh, their anxiety decreases, their mood rises, they, on the contrary, do not fixate on doing the same thing several times in order to "impress", attract attention and test for strength. Maybe 30 seconds or a minute he will be interested in continuing this business, but if you continue to switch your attention to his other actions, giving "bad advice", the need to continue doing something will disappear. And you will spend these 30 seconds not on irritation and discontent, but on establishing trust with your own child and positive.
Easy education for you!
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