2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Last week I wrote about the concept of a "psychological start" of a person. And how easy it is, not knowing the fate of a person, not being familiar with the conditions and psychological climate in which he grew up, to err in judgments about his abilities, capabilities and achievements.
But it often happens that in the place of an underestimated "other person" we ourselves find ourselves in front of ourselves.
This is not always easy to notice and understand.
Often, everyone thinks they know themselves well.
That he understands well what he needs.
And what can he do for this.
But not everyone can really do what is necessary and achieve the realization of their desires.
And often this is due to the fact that a person does not understand well his "starting conditions".
Here are some “markers” that will allow you to understand that you do not understand very well the conditions of your “psychological start” and evaluate yourself, your abilities and capabilities, proceeding not from the reality of your resources, but from some idealistic ideas:
1. It seems to you that if other people succeed in something, you must also succeed in it. At least the same, and maybe even better.
2. You expect more and better results from yourself than you get, and you get very upset when you discover reality.
3. You criticize, annoy, scold yourself, disappointment in yourself, if you do not achieve the goal, you do not get what you want.
4. If you want something, but do nothing for the desire to be realized, you are ashamed, uncomfortable, even in front of yourself, and you can call yourself for this a "rag", "rag" and other epithets in a similar spirit …
5. It seems to you that you are not who you could be.
6. You do not notice, think that your successes and achievements are not important, small and insignificant.
7. You are not used to seeing your life path in perspective.
8. You forget, do not attach importance, ignore the living conditions and circumstances in which you developed and grew that influenced your development and choice of life strategies.
9. Looking at the success of other people, you expect the same success from yourself on the basis of the fact that THEY could do it and lament over the unconquered heights.
Self-blame and trying to ignore your past is a disservice.
Each of these actions takes you further away from success, joy and satisfaction from your life.
A tree cannot grow without roots, a flower cannot blossom without a stem.
To fulfill his potential and be happy, a person needs to be able to give himself an honest account of who he is and who he was. Even if the memories of the past do not cause joy.
Meeting with one's "origins", with one's past, realizing one's limitations and one's real capabilities is not an easy task, sometimes even difficult. And this is something that is almost impossible to cope with alone.
Simply because this is how the human mind is arranged - once having learned, naming something and defining its place in the picture of the world, it extremely does not like to question it and, in general, to return to it.
And for the meeting to take place, time and special conditions are needed. For example, psychotherapy.
A psychotherapist is a person who knows what paths the path of "self-recognition and acceptance" is.
He has been walking along it himself for a long time.
And he is able to accompany other people, having the time, experience, sensitivity, sight, knowledge and skills necessary for this.
Maria Veresk, online psychologist, gestalt therapist.
If you liked the article, you can say "thank you" using like and repost.
I would be glad if you share your thoughts on what was the "psychological start" in your life? And how do you used to feel about it?
Do you have something similar from the points in the article? Or is this attitude towards yourself not familiar?
And, of course, I invite you to consultations and psychotherapy.
To your meeting with yourself.
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