2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The day was not easy - everyday issues, then work, then again everyday issues and a little more work. I had a hearty dinner, turned on the garland (for some reason they always had a calming effect on me), put on The Doors (they usually have about the same effect), hugged the soft blanket tightly, inhaled deeply and exhaled. And she sat down to write about self-support.
Even seven years ago, I was sincerely convinced that something extraordinary was needed to cope with stress. For example, I have to acquire some extraordinary personality traits or enlighten to the level of a Zen Buddhist. Food, blanket, music, breath? No, it's too easy. Otherwise, there would not be so much suffering in the world. I really could not think that one day a set of simple and mundane actions could help me survive such serious life shocks as the loss of a loved one or a change in field of activity. And they helped. So now I am sharing these simple things with my clients. And with you too.
- Don't forget the body … Food, drink, sleep, warmth are our basic needs. No matter how we try to forget about them, they, first of all, support our vital activity, no matter what happens. Take care of yourself. Have a hot cup of tea. Listen to your body: do you feel like you are standing on the ground? Do you feel support in your own legs? Try to feel it. Remember to breathe, being aware of inhaling and exhaling, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. This often helps to calm down and regain control of your emotions.
- Learn to manage your emotions … Practices such as mindfulness or "his great-grandmother" meditation will help reinforce mindfulness management as a skill that is useful in all situations.
- Ask others for help when you really need it … Better yet, make a list of people you could turn to for help in case of anything. There should be at least 15 such people. Think about what kind of help you would turn to each of them. Perhaps someone will be able to empathize, someone will serve as a reliable support, and someone will help to cope with complex everyday issues. After all, each of us is not omnipotent and sometimes we just need the help of a loved one.
- Imagine a person you could lean on … If it so happens that you are all alone, it doesn't matter - remember the one who supported and protected you earlier. Dad, grandmother, teacher or closest friend. What would he tell you in this situation? How would he act, how would he support you?
- Try not to blame or shame yourself.… Often in a difficult situation we begin to attack ourselves: “Oh, this happened to me, so I’m unlucky and don’t deserve happiness”, “I’m stupid. Such a thing could not happen for an intelligent person”,“Well, here it is again. Nobody loves me, I don't deserve love, I'm not like that. " As soon as you catch yourself thinking these things, try stopping the flow of self-accusations for a couple of seconds. He is unlikely to help you now. Try to take a closer look at these thoughts: does NO ONE really love you? Is it true that you are ALWAYS unlucky? Or is there at least one person / one situation where everything went wrong?
- "It looks like this now" … Many of us are avid lovers of torturing ourselves endlessly "but if I hadn't done this, everything would have been better." Everything turned out the way it happened. And humanity has not yet invented a time machine capable of transporting us to an alternate reality, as in the "Butterfly Effect". Try to accept where you are, here and now. Sometimes this is enough to ease your condition and start moving on.
- Build on previous experience … Every person in life has had situations where he managed to cope with stress. Try to remember: when did you emerge from a difficult situation as a winner? What qualities have helped you to do this? Who was there to help you?
- Refer to your resource location … Think of a place where you feel comfortable and safe. Someone has their own room, someone has a park or river bank. Visit this place - in reality or in your imagination. Stay there as long as you like.
- Do something that gives you pleasure and energy.… Hobbies, work, communication, sleep, delicious food, a walk - all this is individual.
If these methods were not enough and you are still in difficult and difficult experiences - do not wait for the condition to worsen and sign up for a consultation.
I wish you less stress in your life.
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