We Take Off The Masks. How To Learn To Accept Yourself, And Not Always Please Everyone And Remake Yourself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

We are so stuffed with different patterns, strangers' expectations, strangers must and must, that in this maelstrom we lose touch with ourselves. We plunge into the eternal race “how to please everyone, please, be good for everyone,” that we do not notice how we ignore ourselves - true, genuine, living.

When you want to lie down and rest, you have to run and do something.

When you want to have fun, you have to wash, cook, clean.

When you want to do what you love, you have to survive and go to a hateful job.

And the gap between want and need is colossal.

As if we really can't find even one hour a day for ourselves! As if every minute must belong to others!

And do you know why this is so?

There is no love for oneself.

Sheer discontent, reproaches, self-criticism, disgust, shame.

I decided to set aside "5 minutes" for myself - and then there was wine! As I could, I dared !!! I wanted to buy something for myself - and again wine! I thought about myself - the wine was right there.

Not worthy! I didn't deserve it! Not good enough for this man, family, success, interesting work.

Where there is no love and acceptance for oneself, solid masks:

Correct

Ideal

White and fluffy

Pleasing

Impostor

Worst of all, etc.

Someone said something, looked, doubted - and that's it! An endless stream of self-flagellation, self-punishment, devaluation turns on.

What is his path to himself?

Step 1 - Realize Your Mask

Step 2 - want to take it off

Step 3 - meet your real self with a smile and warmth, because you are not as awful as you think you are

Many do not know themselves and do not understand, simply because they do not want to meet with themselves. Why date someone who is imperfect, disgusting, fat, disgusting, loser? Better to constantly break yourself, alter, keep on terrible diets, endlessly improve.

But if you cannot become necessary for yourself, unfortunately, you will not be needed by anyone else.

This is the unconditional acceptance of oneself - mistaken, fat, unlucky in some way, lazy, irresponsible, etc. Without this part of the personality that you want to kick and ignore, a real meeting with your true self will never happen.

And in this meeting lies the strength to be yourself, a feeling of fulfillment and dignity, the right to your desires and your choice.

Let's connect with this power!

Life in the Mask of the Pretender. How to understand that you are going your own way, and not imposed by society

Probably many people know when they want something - changing jobs, positions, leaving toxic relationships, moving - but the fear that they will be condemned, not supported, laughed at, devalued - stops.

And there are many such stops in our life.

It's scary not just to change something, but to try new things, which are often uncomfortable and uncomfortable.

Clever, beautiful, excellent qualifications, but all the time there is a worm of doubt - "and whether I am in my place", "what if everyone finds out that I'm not that cool", "what if I make a mistake, and everyone will understand that I am not that whom I give myself away”.

Sound familiar?

I want to escape from a new job, activity, even from a new relationship, because there is anxiety “what if”…. A strange feeling of being an impostor, some kind of deceiver, a pretender eats a person from the inside, forming in him a fear of success, achievements, long and strong relationships. A person suppresses his impulses, desires, lives in constant expectation of some kind of exposure.

But all this is just fantasy. Nobody knows about these difficult experiences; a person hides them inside himself, destroying his individuality, personality, opportunities and prospects.

An internal conflict is triggered - it is dangerous to manifest itself in society, but at the same time a strong desire to be noticed and successful.

This is the first sign that the Impostor's mask has already become part of the personality and controls the person. It inhibits him in actions and choices, frightens him with the consequences, a person sinks into the expectation of inevitable exposure, into shame and guilt. Dependence on someone else's opinion, someone else's assessment becomes so strong that it is really possible to get sick due to the fact that he is not able to be himself and show strong qualities in society.

The prohibition to live according to your own, according to the desire of your soul - forces a person to always follow patterns and other people's rules. A person goes astray and follows someone else's path.

Feeling unhappy, not realized, or vice versa, achieved what he wanted, but suddenly such melancholy and depreciation rolls in that it's easier to destroy everything than to enjoy success.

Do you think it makes sense to continue to maintain the mask of the Pretender?