2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
And when such relationships happen, they sometimes become very far from some ideal model. In particular, where errors occur.
Relationship mistakes should definitely not mean “accidental” betrayal or “premature” divorce. But emotional outbursts, value judgments, decisions for a partner or in spite of a partner, episodes of egocentrism, forgetfulness, situational stubbornness, quarrels and conflicts may well be the very mistakes that do not contradict the possibility of long-term and resource relationships.
And this raises the question - how to relate to the mistakes of your partner / partner in the relationship?
Someone chooses the option of forgiveness … Because it’s easier to relieve your own inner tension.
Someone chooses the option of their own emotional release … Because it not only relieves internal stress, but also allows you to do it quickly.
Someone chooses the option of promises … When the “word” is taken from the partner that he will not do so in the future.
Someone chooses the option of resentment … When in response to any mistake of a partner, the reaction follows "it's you who are to blame, I feel bad because of you."
Someone chooses a punishment option … Once you have made a mistake, now you must be punished, you must suffer for a while because of your mistake. I will help you with this, harassing you.
Someone chooses the option to search for internal reasons … That is, if you are mistaken, your partner begins to take you apart, indicating what is wrong with you.
Someone chooses the option "I'll close my eyes to this" … As if showing either his strength, or his mercy, or showing something else (however, this option sooner or a little earlier turns into another option, more often into emotional relaxation).
In general, you have many options for how to react to someone else's mistake.
But my favorite option sounds like this:
I can allow you to be wrong. In the event that you give me your reciprocal permission. And when we analyze our mistakes together. We analyze in format what we should do with this now. How can we make sure that the consequences are realized and the wishes of the parties are realized. Both desires. After all, when you are wrong, something moves you. And it is important to realize this desire. If your mistake hurts your partner, some of his desire also goes into a minus. And this desire is also important to realize …
How do you often react to the mistakes of your partners?
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