2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
This Monday there was a lesson on trust. Fall on hands and others. The process is generally simple: two participants, the first with his back to the second, the second facing him, the first falls, the second catches.
Of course, such an exercise is alarming: what if he doesn't catch it? Participants "body" test the partner for strength. Nobody falls down perfectly relaxed right away. First you need to turn around and check if your partner is ready to catch, then lean a little on your partner. Then bend over two centimeters, then three, then five … Gradually, trust in the "catcher" appears, the participants relax and begin to really fall. Those who catch are strong and reliable: the exercise is not difficult, what are they afraid of, am I here?
So the strangest thing in this process is that many participants scolded themselves for not being able to complete the exercise right away. They scolded themselves for fear, for turning around, for not working out the first time, for wanting to control everything. Forcing ourselves to trust through force. What happened as a result of such violence against yourself? A person falls, but with a clamped body, not getting any pleasure from the process, because trust itself is not formed, because it is impossible to form trust through rape.
I came up and said something like:
- Do not rush. Slow down. Feel your body. What does it want?
- I always want to turn around and check if they really catch me.
- So turn around and check.
- But I want to check every time!
- So check it every time.
- So when will I start to trust?
- When the partner passes your test. It will be like this: you check many times, but your partner is always there, has not gone anywhere, stands ready, catches you. This is how you will form trust, this is how it is formed, and not by an order from the head, like “I have to trust”. Your fear is a normal reaction to the danger of falling. Do not fight him, but take him as your allies and take all necessary measures not to fall. And give yourself time to accept.
After that, the process went slower, but exactly where it should be. Developing trust in the world and people is not a one-stop-shop process; it takes time.
Psychotherapy, including bodily therapy, teaches respect for oneself. Violence against oneself leads to a feeling of being raped, and respect for oneself - to the feeling "I love myself."
Love yourself.
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