Work Vs Husband Or Work + Husband

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I love work, but why? And why does my husband not love my job? Whom / what should I love? - Sometimes we mix both cutlets and flies in an attempt to find the right way out of the conflict, internal or external

And the first step towards the exit is separation, and giving each of his own place. After all, choosing a job or serving a husband is not at all from the category of feminist sentiments or "Vedic wives", who have pretty much set them on edge

The woman's internal conflict in relation to her current job was reflected in the external conflict with her spouse. The reason for the appeal was the "obvious" incompatibility of the low-paid, but pleasant job for the client, with the negative opinion of her husband about her mediocre time spent. An author's game for the development of reflection and imagination in the problem field “Blitz interview on a lie detector” by Anna Manticova ©, who was born spontaneously in the course of counseling on a similar problem, was proposed as a solution in the limited format of "One Letter" scribotherapy.

"Good day. My question concerns relationships with work and with my husband at the same time. Sometimes I have a mood in which I do not want to go to work at all. But, in general, I really love my work, I enjoy the process and the results. My husband earns much more than me, and often says that I should quit, not waste time on low-paid jobs, “take care of myself and my family”. He doesn't understand my argument that salary isn't the first thing I work for. Help me explain to my spouse that work is dear to me - how can I convey this idea to him? B eronica ".

Veronica, let's imagine that you were invited to a show, where hundreds of your copies are sitting as spectators, the presenter is also one of them, more precisely, one of you. The stylist, the editor of the show - also your copies, the name of the project is "Blitz-interview on a lie detector".

The condition under which you can pass this interview is the utmost sincerity of the answers, the minimum pause in front of them, indicating that you are not constructing a reality that pleases you, the public or the leading one, but respond with whatever comes to mind first. Ready? Let's get started!

• Veronica, in general, you love your job very much, and, in particular, there is a mood in which you do not want to go to it at all. Answer: why do you have a holistic impression that you love your job? What else do you “don’t want” at all in a special mood, when you don’t want to work?
• Your husband earns much more than you, what emotions does this fact evoke in you? What is common and what is different in your value system and your spouse?
• Ask your spouse what motivates him to work besides a good income?
• Salary is far from the first thing you work for. And what is in the first, second, … place, and where does your income stand?
• Explain why your job is dear to you?
• Who and what gives you confidence?
• In what situations do you feel defenseless?
• Who close to you can understand your concept in relation to work? And who will never share it?

Veronica, do you think you went through the blitz interview?

Why are all the participants in this show your copies?

How has the reality around you and in you changed now?

What's the next step you want to take right now?

If you cannot implement it directly, take a sheet and write down everything that comes to mind, put a date when this step will be implemented. For the first approach, there are enough questions, the answers are now needed not by the husband, first of all, by herself.

Many people in developed countries would work even if they had other means of livelihood. In addition to the obvious financial benefits, work brings many aspects to life, only the most common:

1. allows you to lead an active lifestyle: you cannot sit back for a long time;
2. it structures not only the rhythm of life, but also the time of professional activity: work requires completion on time;
3. stimulates to follow common goals: you cannot be autonomous, concerned only with your life;
4. includes in the social environment, suggesting communication of one intensity or another;
5. serves as an indicator of social status, can be socially significant, also, expresses individuality - we are evaluated taking into account both the profession and the position;
6. allows you to implement the acquired skills, enjoying the efforts made;
7. can satisfy the need for respect, status, good attitude, need, etc.

Even if we have our dream job, drive and enthusiasm cannot be present all the time - otherwise our nervous system will fail.

If you don't want to change the job, the manager is adequate, the team is good, you like the responsibilities, scan it - perhaps the unwillingness to go to work that arises in a certain mood is nothing more than a manifestation of your adaptation, in other words, of a mental norm.

Then there is little left: either to feel apathy for a while and automatically get back on track, or to shake yourself up on your own. We get used to everything, therefore, from time to time, we need to reboot. At the same time, we remain normal. And to feel the fullness of life, we need goals, but not the goals of our partner or boss, but those goals that satisfy our key needs. This is a different, deeper story.

The watercolor by V. Kirdiy "Waiting for the train" was used as an illustration.