2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is a strong belief in our society that one should always listen to the opinions of others. The key is always. Moreover, we can talk about the opinions of parents, friends, or even the government. On the basis of this belief, a thinking pattern in relation to advice is formed.
They love to advise us and do it with taste. Often, finding themselves in an incomprehensible situation, both men and women turn to someone for advice on how to behave in such conditions. In most cases, they do this, not in those moments when you really do not know what to do, but in order to relieve themselves of responsibility for the future result. Then you can blame the failure on the advisor.
After all, frankly, everyone knows how he wants to act, but for this you need to analyze the situation and not lie to yourself. And this can be difficult.
At the moment of describing the situation, to the one to whom they come for advice, people often try to embellish the situation, or, on the contrary, give it a more negative connotation. The goal is one, to make the opinion of yourself better. And then it is not just a joint analysis of the situation that comes into play, but the desire to support a friend, girlfriend, daughter or son (despite the fact that they are already adults), to regret, and to punish the other, the opposite side for something (to condemn).
Parents most often give advice about relationships, based only on the fact that their already adult child does not experience discomfort. But this is not the main thing, parents often simply do not know (or do not want to know) the whole truth, and therefore their advice will be one-sided.
There is also a point, most often parents give advice based on their values and models of relationships, which were formed quite a long time ago (30-40 years ago), and, accordingly, are outdated.
Plus, every parent wants his child to be happy, but at the same time, if an adult child is going to act contrary to the opinion of the parent, then he is discouraged in every possible way. This is done not only because of fears, but also because if you manage to solve a difficult situation in your own way, then the person close to you will have confirmation of his own insolvency.
It's no secret that not all of our parents are happy in relationships. At the same time, even wishing well, they will adhere to the scenario that they know. The phrases “I have lived my life” or “You still don’t understand anything” are another confirmation of this. With all due respect to parental advice, you must understand that you and your parents are different people, and even more so your partner or partner, who have nothing to do with them at all.
Regarding conversations in the kitchen, over a bottle of how to be, by the way, the most common option (but not the most productive), it is useful to know and understand this. Each of us sees any situation for himself, and this point of view differs from ours. Everyone has their own habits, desires and vision of the world. And based on this, people give advice to others. Also, relationships are based on feelings, are you sure that your counselor has the same feelings as you do?
Often people say that they trust their friends or girlfriends on the basis that they are decent people. This is great, but why, then you do not trust them to do repairs in your house, especially if they are not professionals? However, when it comes to advice about relationships, the same repair, there is no doubt.
Tips are most useful to use as a kind of collection of options for solutions to a difficult situation in order to make your own decision. After all, when you follow other people's advice with precision, you begin to live not your life. Do you want to live not your own, someone else's life?
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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