How To Integrate Your Weaknesses Into Your Strengths

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want to start this interesting topic with a famous one. What we consider to be disadvantages are our potential strengths. Dealing with handicaps gives, in fact, an opportunity to find oneself and be born as an individual, as a person.

Our nervous system is so structured that we strive for "highs" and like to avoid and turn away from trouble. This absolutely healthy and “survival” reaction determines our difficulties in perceiving our shortcomings.

But dealing with imperfections is always worth it. Not self-digging and self-fire, but real work. Often, instead of working on shortcomings, people fall into self-flagellation, sacrifice, hopelessness, apathy, hopelessness of being, a state of gravity, and in order to get out of such unpleasant states, they spread rot and feel the most severe sense of guilt for not doing anything. However, real work with your shortcomings liberates and gives energy, inspiration and new resources. If this does not happen, then you are under an illusion about your own work.

How else to distinguish self-digging from real work on yourself. Usually, real work is a kind of practice, a specially directed action that you perform, and then analyze, draw conclusions, observe and register your own changes. And the illusion of work is when just thoughts are obsessively spinning in your head, and you console yourself that you are so directing your attention to what is important to you. In fact, if it lasts for hours and happens every day, then this is a sign of sticking attention, and it is also better to start registering it as a disadvantage that needs to be addressed. Because instead of wasting your energy on real life, creativity, communication, sports, you sit and obsessively spin thoughts in your head. This is a pathological process. However, deliberation is definitely a necessary process. But only if it is controlled by you and occurs at the moments of the specially allotted time for this, before going to bed and after waking up, in transport.

So, when it became clear that working with shortcomings is some kind of action leading to a result, we will discuss how best to do it.

Stage one: accept - fix, want to see, admit what you consider your flaw.

Method 1.

Projection.

Take a piece of paper and remember what you don't like about other people? What are their qualities and characteristics that cause you a sharp reaction, irritation, impatience, rejection. You use the phrases: "Well, how is it possible!"

List 10 qualities that you dislike in other people.

In fact, this is what you refute and do not accept in yourself.

Method 2.

Just write down a list of your qualities that you are loyal to. You don’t like them, but you don’t know how and what to change for the better. You do it all the time, even though you don't think it is behavior worth respecting yourself for. For example: overeating, outbursts of irritation towards loved ones, cannot force yourself to exercise, cannot go to bed on time, etc.

Here you have a second list of disadvantages.

So, we have 2 lists. The first list is those qualities that are unpleasant to you that you hide from yourself; and second, the shortcomings you know and acknowledge.

Great, now there is definitely something to work with.

Let's move on to motivation. Why pay attention to your weaknesses and integrate them into your strengths? I have already mentioned in passing that this is, in fact, your personal potential blocked. Releasing this potential leads a person to an awareness of value and pride in himself, raising self-esteem, releasing suppressed emotions, mastering control of his mental system, learning what is sure to be useful for you to realize yourself.

And if this is still not enough, then, in the end, the correct work with your shortcomings leads to self-acceptance and self-love.

In general, as you can see, there are plenty of bonuses. Well, if you avoid yourself, i.e.do not realize and do not understand your shortcomings, then you face the opposite consequences: devaluation of your personality, lack of self-respect, inability to find a decent job, inability to fully communicate with other people, and create harmonious relationships. That is, in fact, the lack of work on your shortcomings is a refusal to independently form your mature individuality. You live based on the reactions and programs that have been passed down to you from generation to generation, and it is not a fact that this is the best way to live. You may be offended by your parents, by the Lord God, and by anyone else - that's all, shifting responsibility. And, most likely, you are convinced: “How could it be otherwise? After all, the world works like that."

But today there is only good news: this is not the way the world is arranged, but this is how your system of perception of the world is built! And working with your shortcomings is a way to shape your perception of the world and your subconscious so that new resources and talents will open up in you. This is not an easy path. But it can be fun and exciting. This is the path of your life. And it is precisely working with flaws and integrating them into virtue that releases this potential.

Have you already decided to avoid yourself? Are you ready to open up your vaults of flaws and turn them into your precious merit?

Then let's get started.

Let's talk about pain relievers. Pain and a negative perception of one's own and others' shortcomings is what is a serious brake on the path of life.

Therefore, I will tell you about REFRAMING, or - how to see your new opportunities?

"Reframing", in short, is a look at the situation from the other side, or from a different angle.

Reframing is a substitute for perception. You cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it. There is a reframing of meaning and a reframing of essence.

In order not to philosophize for a long time, I'd rather give you an example.

Old grandpa complains to the doctor about his sores.

The doctor interrupts him: "Grandpa, you are already 90. There is no way I can help you to become younger!"

"That you are a doctor, I don't need that. I would be fine if you would help me get older!"

By the age of 90, the grandfather had already gained wisdom, and mastered the skills of reframing, without even knowing this term.

Translated from English, "frame" means a frame.

REFRAMING is an opportunity to shift the framework of perception, which grandfather successfully did, just changing the meaning of the phrase.

REFRAMING is a wonderful tool in NLP for switching attention from negative to positive.

Reframing meaning is when we re-evaluate the meaning of an event without changing the context. This reframing makes it easier to work with limiting beliefs.

Applying it, we see in laziness - "the engine of progress", in a stingy person a zealous owner, in slowness - solidity.

Many anecdotes are great examples of reframing.

- What is vodka? - This is a drug that allows a Russian person to compensate for the juices squeezed out of him.

- Tractor driver Fedor, falling asleep at the wheel, accidentally became a participant in the presidential program for the demolition of dilapidated housing.

The second type of re-framing is context (essence) re-framing. This is when we really change our assessment of the whole situation. I use this kind of reframing a lot in my work, and by truly changing a person's perception of their problem, I get amazing results.

I will give an example of this type of rayframing.

Your flaw: I am not talkative, but my dignity is that I am not talkative.

To master this type of raifreming, pay attention to the word "but".

And it is with this word that context re-framed begins. Here are some more examples.

Problem: I'm too timid.

- But men like to take care of timid girls.

- But you are so feminine!

- But such women are a real rarity!

- But, you are not conflicted, you are always comfortable with.

- But, there will always be many defenders next to you…. etc

And so you can endlessly give examples.

Changing the vision of our flaw, we already partially apply it and see it as "+". And with the condition of inner honesty, a person understands what his defect requires real work.

To practice reframing, you can use a simple children's game "Zebra" in good and bad. I talk about this in more detail in the video.

However, you can independently take some important word for yourself, which you need to understand, clarify, expand the boundaries of its meanings and think about why it can be “bad”, and then “good” and so alternate 10 times. This exercise sets up your mind is viewed from different angles, and not attached to one single one. Very much conducive to wider perception.

As you apply reframing in your life, you will eventually find that there are no flaws. The very word “lack” is just a way to evaluate something as bad, unworthy, something that you do not like. And this means that the time has come to change it to something that you will like.

To cope with the system of hiding, displacing information and knowledge about oneself, I recommend completely removing the word “lack” from your vocabulary, then there will be nothing to displace.

There is something to which there is a reaction; what I don't like about myself; what I would like it to be different. This attitude allows you to direct your attention to finding what you would like to be, to real development. And it will allow you to look for methods and ways to change what you just do not like about yourself (because you already want differently) into something that will allow you to achieve your dreams and goals.

As you remember, reframing is just pain relief. And the real integration of your shortcomings into your merits begins from the moment when you stop being afraid to be honest with yourself, and, realizing the importance of this process, you stop hiding from yourself, whatever. Then the habitual process of the subconscious to repress the unpleasant truth about yourself is also softened and knowledge about yourself is revealed to you, and sincerity with others becomes available.

And this is the next, second stage. Stage of training and self-development. And because of the right attitude to yourself, it can be really fun and easy.

It is easy to find techniques for integrating this or that kind of “disadvantage”, to learn something new, if there are no obstacles, internal barriers, self-racing, but there is a simple desire to live interestingly, developing in a new way every day.

And now, let's summarize what we have learned about integrating our weaknesses into strengths:

1. You need to stop being afraid of them (shortcomings), and understand that your shortcomings are your treasure (advantages).

2. Reframing is a way to change the perception of your shortcomings, and to understand what benefits you get from it.

3. Understand what you really want. Find practices that will help you start gaining new experiences.

4. Feel free to start gaining new experience and training new qualities.

How to integrate this or that disadvantage?

How can you change your attitude in a particular case?

Come with these questions for a consultation or write your questions in the comments, or just look for your answers from friends and on the Internet. The correct question is already 50% of the answer.