To Bet Or Not To Bet?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Woven from faith and doubt

Our life is a ghostly fabric.

Nikolay Naumov.

This article is for those who are interested in constellations, have been a member of them or are just planning. Or, more precisely, for those who doubt whether to take part in them …

Having plunged headlong into the topic of constellations, I periodically faced myself, and then from the side of clients with questions about whether it is necessary …, whether it is worth …, whether it is possible …, is it not dangerous … (and other similar "s") to do the constellation. That is why I decided to express my own opinion - the answer to such questions, relying on my experience as a client, constellator and the experience of colleagues.

So, as they write on the forums: FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) and doubts about the method of system constellations.

1. Constellation - is it dangerous?

Quite a widespread opinion, which is the subject of many articles from the category "Harm of constellations, obsession, etc.". I read it … I will not argue, because you cannot convince those who do not want it. But it seems that often the authors of articles of this kind are familiar with the method visually, without delving into and not understanding the essence and scientific basis of the constellation process (and they are, these scientific justifications, have been actively developed recently), make hasty and subjective conclusions.

But I agree on something. Constellations can sometimes hurt … Just like any other therapy that is not practiced by a professional. And, unfortunately, there are enough of them in our profession!

As a student, I saw the "victims" of undereducated psychologists who "got hold of" psychoanalysis, eager to interpret everything without need, generously distributing the clichés "psychological impotence" and "psychological death." And now I meet "gurus" who have decided to do constellations, having been a client a couple of times. "Why, everything seems to be simple, choose deputies, let them move, sit and watch, I can do that too!"

But you do not trust the doctor just because he himself was once a patient! It is only in appearance that the constellation process looks simple, there are many nuances and subtleties.

Therefore, like my mentors, I recommend that clients, before ordering an arrangement, come to the group to the therapist as a substitute, participate, listen to themselves, because even a cool professional may not suit you as a person, we are people too, and we do not pretend to please everyone.

2. Constellation is a painful process

I agree. Often in the process of constellation, we come out on painful topics that are difficult to perceive. Behind the problems in our partnerships, with money, behind inadequately sharp emotional reactions, there can be generic stories about the difficult fate of our ancestors, long-past events associated with wars, murders, dispossession of kulaks, and a lot of things that are really painful to look at and perceive. In my client work, I myself regularly cry, sometimes afterwards I get sick. But after going through all this, having experienced the mental pain, looking at the pain of my ancestors, I understand and realize how my life is “purified”, how, over time, a place is made available for joy and light feelings. I am not prone to euphoria and am rather skeptical about my results, but now I am convinced that those experiences were worth what I now have.

You can hide the problems away, discuss and cry with a friend in the kitchen, and get temporary relief, try to cope yourself. In the words of my client: “Why touch the relationship with my mother, I don’t talk to her, out of sight - out of mind, I don’t touch her, and it doesn’t seem to hurt, but you’ll start digging, worry-worry again…”. But often we see how, getting into a stressful situation, when the psychological "immunity" is weakening, a person seems to plunge into his traumas on a new round, going through a heap of events, attracting the "necessary" people in order to relive the childhood experience again and again (and often it is not even a personal experience, but a generic experience).

Having gone through the painful process of "liberation" in the constellation, we have a chance to leave it there, in that field, but for this we need the courage to look into our kind and allow what we have seen into our feelings. Well, the choice is yours …

3. Constellation is something mystical and incomprehensible

The method was born from intuitive discoveries, in practice, and at the beginning of its path looked like something incomprehensible. In addition, using the expressions "soul", "knowing field", "higher power", Bert Hellinger, the creator of the method, gave rise to some mystification. Hellinger himself calls constellations a philosophy, his students have already brought them into a series of psychotherapy, developing and supplementing them with new directions. Nowadays there are many scientific substantiations of psychologists, geneticists and other specialists explaining the phenomena of substitutional perception, transmission of "generic programs", morpho-genetic field, etc. I will not go into details, this is not the task of my article now, large-scale works are devoted to scientific substantiation, therefore I will not overestimate my capabilities. This point causes the most discussion and discussion. Again, I don’t argue. But I am a certified psychologist with 12 years of experience, I do not know magic and superpowers, but I use constellations in my professional activities. Among my fellow constellations, who are successful in their work, there are many reasonable, logical, sometimes skeptical people. I see in them a lot of respect, recognition and admiration for the depth of the processes that open up in constellations. Doesn't smell like mysticism!

4. Constellation is expensive

Once again, I agree. Why is it expensive? Because from the first image of the constellation, you can get as much information as you would realize in consulting after a couple of months of work. Often in therapy we are faced with the fact that the client discards unpleasant information for perception, not wanting to take responsibility for his problems. In constellations, this resistance does not work, since the substitutes do not have personal motives, they say what they feel, and when, without having detailed information about the client, while reflecting his feelings and states, he begins to perceive the therapy process with great confidence, without discrediting the information received., explaining this by the subjectivity of the psychologist. Therefore, the effectiveness is higher.

In addition, this is so far the only method of psychotherapy that allows you to go beyond the boundaries of a person's experience, to come into contact with generic dynamics, where, often, the root of many problems lies. When working with personal history in other methods, the effort may have low impact. This does not in any way invalidate other methods. Each problem has its own method. If you have a headache, you can take painkillers, but they will not help with appendicitis. And if awareness-drawing-analysis does not help, then it is worth trying constellations.

The high price is due to many factors, among which are high efficiency, faster and deeper changes, energetic involvement of the therapist. The person received "a lot" (some constellators believe that this method changes fate) and must maintain a balance of take and give with high pay, so that later not to devalue the result, unconsciously feeling that he did not compensate for what he received.

The answer from the conference of Bert Hellinger, the founder of the method, in February 2010 in Ukraine: “There have been many attempts to attack this method. studies have confirmed that 80% of constellations are effective. (In other directions, the effectiveness is about 40%.) The main thing is that the soul is turned on."

Surely, I did not answer all the doubts or questions about whether it is worth doing the arrangement or not, perhaps some of the readers were not surprised by something new. I admit that some of the people who have taken the time to read will disagree on something. But I cannot but express my conviction that systemic constellations can be used not only as an effective method for solving many problems, but also become a tool for personal development that allows you to expand the boundaries of understanding yourself and your life path.

But the decision is always yours!