2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently I read Elizabeth Gilbert's excellent article on the Inner Old Woman, which asked myself a question: what would my Inner Old Woman say - when the inner child is scared, confused, does not know what to do?
I asked myself this question in a broader sense - what does my Inner Old Woman tell me in terms of the main message? She tells me - "watch yourself!". In every sense of the word.
“Watch yourself - not your husband” (boyfriend, girlfriends or anyone else). Watch your appearance and, in general, the impression you make on others. A woman can always look good, under any circumstances and on any budget. My grandmother, who survived dispossession, two wars, and several travels from one part of Russia to another, knew this well. As an inheritance, she left me a Singer sewing machine, ordered from Germany by my great-grandfather as a gift for his wife. Yes, yes, I know that many are now nodding, because you also have one (or had). I don’t know about you, but this machine came in very handy for me in the harsh 90s, when my friends and I threw all together at the Burda Fashionable magazine and passed on patterns of fashionable dresses, blouses and skirts to each other. And they say I did pretty well with my grandmother's Singer machine. Yes, we are like that - we can sew a chic dress from an old curtain, if necessary
"Watch yourself - be careful" … And that too, yes. The world consists not only of roses, there are also thorns. And for each rose - a whole hedge of thorns, sometimes poisonous. Do not trust just anyone, do not rush to free cheese (because it is clear where it is). Don't be a coward, but don't poke your nose where you don't need to. Think before you do anything. Hunt when you feel hungry, but do not rush after the prey out of greed or envy, do not allow yourself to be bred "weak." Be brave and do not let your own, but - watch yourself!
Take care of yourself, because "the word is not a sparrow" and "you can't glue a broken cup" … Watch your words and actions, especially when it comes to relationships with people who matter to you. Don't let yourself be hurt, but don't let anger or resentment destroy what's really important in one blow. You can apologize and renew the relationship - but the crack will remain forever. And then, even later, another meaning opened to me. "Watch yourself - and everything that happens in your life, observing from the side" … Yes, this is what I often talk about in my practices and meditations. This is what psychology calls "metacommunication". And after such practices, my students and clients tell me that they began to react much more calmly to what used to be insanely annoying and unsettling. Just watch yourself - living life to the fullest, with all the gamut of emotions. They are very different, sometimes ascending to heaven, then roughly hitting the ground, from love to hate and back to love. Do not run from them, live to the fullest and - watch them. Watch yourself.
Of course, my Inner Old Woman is all that has preserved the memory of my grandmother and all that later became attracted to this image, a precious crystal around the base. Everything that can come only from older women, from those whom I chose for myself as guides and mentors, because a woman just as needs communication with the wisest Sages, as a man needs the Elders of her tribe. This experience can be scary and repulsive. But this is the only way to gain access to the most important mysteries of a woman's life cycles - through those archetypal images that are called "Goddesses of Life-Death-Life". Baba Yaga, Kali, Hel, Coatlicue … In every culture there are legends about such a Goddess, because without her female initiation is impossible, without this meeting the girl will be stuck in her girlish naivety, even if she gets married, gives birth to children and makes a successful career.
Listen to your Inner Old Woman - what does she tell you?
The author of the article is psychologist Lana Taiges (Maslova Svetlana Vladimirovna) (c)
Painting by Vikotra Vasnetsov "Baba Yaga"
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