2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Giving advice on how to love correctly is, of course, stupid. To love right is just to love. But still I want to draw your attention to the intricacies of relations between women and men
Love brings great joy to the life of each of us, but often our inner fears and unresolved problems turn the joy of love into suffering and everyday quarrels, into sorting out relationships and into mutual reproaches
If you could adhere to all the advice in the relationship between men and women, it would be easy. Probably, there would be much more happy couples and people.
No advice will bring peace and harmony if this advice does not come from your depths.
If in your unconscious you do not respect a man and in your inner world he is already devalued, then no matter how hard you try to follow the advice and be the RIGHT woman, there will be no result.
I think the great benefit of such advice is to know them and better understand your weak points, to think about your inner feminine state, about your deep perception of men.
First of all, you need to understand that in a relationship, external behavior is not so important as the internal state of each.
A man, oddly enough, loves first of all his condition next to a woman. Depending on HOW he feels, there will be his desire to be with her.
If he feels like a MAN next to a woman, then he will try to do everything possible for her.
A woman should also feel like a WOMAN next to a man, then she will see a MAN in him. But the main responsibility for a woman's condition lies with the woman. Nobody cares about you more than you. Alas, this is so.
To love correctly is, first of all, to take care of your inner state, well-being and mood. Therefore, in the beginning, let's talk about us, about women, and only then about our men, what and how they love and how to love them correctly.
How should you take care of your inner state?
1. Do not turn your relationship with a man into responsibilities for yourself, do not deprive your relationship of life and joy
If you work 2-3 jobs, come home and the whole house falls on you, then what kind of joy in a relationship can we talk about?
You should not be exhausted, tired, lack of sleep - all this leads to your energy depletion, to a lack of strength and loss of mood, which affects all loved ones and, first of all, a man.
2. Taking care of yourself and your condition means being able to hear yourself and your desires. Very often, wanting to help and please others, you forget about yourself. It's good if caring for others really brings you joy and you are energized.
For God's sake!
And if, on the contrary, it exhausts you? So think about how to take care of yourself first.
Maybe it is the right way to distribute responsibilities in your family, learn to say NO, feel the boundaries of your personal space and, in general, have it, both in reality and internally.
3. Correctly to love is not to impose your love, not to stifle a man with love and not to demand love and attention from him
A woman should take care of her inner world so that harmony and peace reign there. If you are overcome by the fear of being abandoned, becoming unnecessary, loneliness scares you and you do not see the joy in life without a man, whether you like it or not, you will spoil your relationship and your life.
The right thing to love is not to lose yourself in a relationship, not to try to merge with a man into one whole, depriving yourself and his personal space.
You should have your own interesting life without a man. Do not give up your hobby, do not stop communicating with friends and relatives, do not get hung up on a man as the most important, ONLY, interesting object.
Know how to dissolve in a man and not lose yourself, forgetting about everything and, most importantly, do not forget to return to yourself again.
4. Taking care of your condition means being able to enjoy the process. When you cook, try to cook not for the result - if only there is something to eat, but try to cook in the same way and what you will enjoy in the cooking process.
Learn to enjoy everything you do. Give yourself 15 - 20 minutes every morning, be alone with yourself, with a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, tune in to the pleasant wave of the new day.
5. To love correctly is, first of all, to be able to communicate correctly
It is difficult to do this when emotions take over you, you are upset and offended, so it is important to keep your inner world in order, to deal with your grievances, the pain of the past. Free yourself from all negative and interfering attitudes, then a wave of rage and anger will not overwhelm you, and you will be able to control yourself in conversation and choose the right words.
When you are in pain, you save yourself from your pain by hurting a man, thereby burning bridges to further understanding each other.
You need to be able to communicate with a man “I am in messages” - to talk about your feelings: “I am angry”, “I am angry”, “I am offended”, “I feel unnecessary to you.
Then be sure to voice the reason why you feel all this and offer a solution that would suit you.
In this way, you will maintain his masculine state in a man, because “You messages” in which you accuse him always have a very negative effect on a man, and as a result you do not get anything, only even more pain and resentment.
You need to be able to calmly and correctly defend your positions and desires.
6. It is important to pay attention to your facial expressions and intonation when you talk to a man. Without noticing it, you can send a man signals about your true attitude towards him, which is hidden deep inside you. Often you yourself do not even know about your true attitude towards him.
The relationship does not develop with a specific man with whom you live or date. It is made up of the attitudes that you have absorbed from your mother, the relationships that you had in your family, your mother’s attitude towards your father and men in general.
7. To love correctly is to be able to be open and speak directly, without hints about your feelings, experiences, desires. Men do not understand women's florid conversations.
A confident woman will not hint, she will speak directly about her desires.
Very often women, due to complexes and insecurity, do not know how to ask and do not know how to receive.
For some reason, it seems to them that a man has to guess everything himself, sometimes, forgetting simple things - ask, and you will be heard. You need to be able to voice your requests and desires directly, without hints.
You need to ask sincerely and at the same time always leave room for refusal in your soul, but there is no doubt that the request may remain unfulfilled. And you definitely need to have patience. Each man has his own speed of perception. Someone needs several days to fulfill your request and desire, someone needs several months. They asked and forgot. If it is very important, then write him lists and attach them in a prominent place, periodically reminding them.
A self-confident woman will rarely think about rejection, and if she does receive a rejection, she will not be very upset, at least it will not connect it with the fact that she is not loved.
When a woman asks a man sincerely, he feels his need and need. This maintains his condition as a MAN.
8. To love correctly is to be able to be grateful, to be able to sincerely thank and rejoice at what a man does, it is important to be able to see the good in his actions, and not to focus on shortcomings
Living next to a man, we begin to treat him as our property, completely forgetting that he is a separate person. We begin to take everything that comes from him for granted, as if all this should be, sometimes not considering it necessary to say from the bottom of our hearts: "THANK YOU." It is important not to say the usual phrase, but to sincerely thank.
Receiving a little from unfamiliar people, we begin to warmly thank them, but we rarely pamper our man with our gratitude.
9. Correctly to love is not to wash dirty linen in public, telling mom and girlfriends about what a monster he is
Firstly, you do not present yourself in the best light - you have chosen him and live with him.
And secondly, you undermine his authority and set your loved ones against him, thereby chopping off the branch on which you sit. In difficult moments, when relationships are cracking, it is unlikely that after your stories, someone from your loved ones will help you keep them.
You can only hear one thing: "Why do you need him this way?" This will not add respect to him at all.
10. To love correctly is to know what love language your man speaks, what is important for him - your hugs or a deliciously cooked dinner, a clean apartment or your praise, a little surprise
This does not mean that you need to communicate only in his love language, you have your own (which you need to tell a man about). It is advisable to keep this in mind. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding of love languages leads to quarrels.
You can clean the apartment thoroughly, and he will feel unnecessary and unloved, because you have not fried delicious cutlets, such as his mother cooked for him.
Or vice versa, you cook him an overseas dinner, and he will pay attention to the scattered things in the house.
You don't need to try to be perfect in everything, it's enough just to understand when your man feels your love and care for him.
11. To love correctly is also to respect a man. Moreover, respect has nothing to do with spiritual closeness. Mental closeness creates attraction to each other for no reason or reason. Intimacy can come from the fact that someone treats you well, but this does not guarantee that you will develop respect for that person.
Respect is always based on real achievements, not necessarily material, but spiritual qualities that require no less work than material ones.
Any person has qualities, achievements for which he can be respected. It all depends on whether you see them or not.
Respecting a man means respecting the boundaries of his personal space and his desires.
Men are very sensitive to any pressure, they immediately begin to show stubbornness.
A loving woman will not put pressure on a man, she will be able to express her desires in a respectful manner, leaving the choice for the man.
12. Right to love a man is to believe in him, not to doubt him and his abilities. To believe is to see the potential, and if you don’t see and don’t believe in its abilities, don’t take YOURS, leave it for another woman who will see in him what you didn’t see and not because you’re bad or couldn’t see, you just have a different angle of view.
Why is it so important for a woman to take care of herself in the first place? Because a man is very sensitive to a woman's mood, although he does not show it.
Everything that a man does, he does it only for the sake of a woman, family, children, and it is very important for him to see a woman contented and happy.
If a woman is annoyed and tired, then the man receives the information for himself “I AM BAD”, “I cannot make her happy”, “She feels bad with me”. And who likes to feel forever bad?
Sometimes a woman deliberately demonstrates her displeasure, wanting a man to think about it and begin to change his behavior or attitude, but the woman does not realize that her discontent and reproaches have the opposite effect - the man becomes isolated.
Now do you understand how important it is to deal not only with your appearance, but also with your inner world? Being in harmony with yourself, you will create harmony around you.
Love, Irina Gavrilova Dempsey
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