2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you are in a low-energy state, or you feel bad, or you are after a crisis, or in some apathetic state, but really want to get out of it, it is very important for you to keep track of what is around you at the moment, what information to you get what you see and what you perceive.
If, for example, you are in a near-depression or professional crisis, or you are just recovering from prolonged procrastination, or you are getting out of the peak of a perfectionistic binge, then you should exclude from your space as much as possible all achievers and successful successes. Because against the background of the contrast between their achievements and your “bottom”, you will feel even worse, even more insignificant, even more hopeless and meaningless. Because your initial conditions are different. Such people can motivate those who are now in a more or less normal emotional form. Who really lacks knowledge, kicks and some advice.
Those who are after the "bottom" do not need advice. They need a long recovery period, when I will gradually build up the inner muscles of faith in myself and my abilities. Those small steps that seem ridiculous to someone are the only way for these people not to drown and not slide back. Therefore, if you start again comparing your situation and those who say that they are doing well there, success and they are great, then this will most likely demotivate you and throw you back again.
It will be especially painful to watch the successes of those who annoyed you a little before. If a person is pleasant to you and he is successful, then it is still tolerable to endure. You can contact him, write a comment, ask for support, etc. And if it's someone you don't like (for whatever reason, even if it's just jealousy), then his successes will hurt even more. When you "recover", when you increase your speed, your strength, this competitive envy will be able to give you fire and you will rush to make everyone. But while there is no strength, all attention should be only on what you can do and what gives you at least some kind of support and support.
It is a delusion that if you are at the bottom, then you need to whip yourself even harder, and for this you put it in a jar of pickles and torture yourself with different marathons
Marathons and kicks work for the healthy and sustainable. There is professional sports, and there is supportive rehabilitation. And if you understand that you do not pull sports yet, then do not look at those who are running. Look at those who are lying and lying next to them, but at the same time do some of your necessary minimum. Provocations work for those who have inner support. All these teasing, “rag, pull yourself together”, “the main thing is to set a goal and find someone to whom you will give money if you screw up”, do not work with those who are not in the resource now. Therefore, I am against being kicked out in happiness. A person may think that he lacks motivation, but he needs the stitches to heal and not diverge from lifting weights.
Therefore, if you are still unstable, then exclude from the ether all that and all those who hurt, cling, infuriate, annoy. Your attention is now too valuable for you to spend energy on what you cannot yet cope with
Then, after a while, when it becomes calmer inside, you can make excursions outside, read what they write and check how it affects you. If you get discouraged from reading these posts for half a day and then you are not ready to do anything except to sprinkle ashes on your head and say "I am a loser, I will not succeed," then you are not yet ready to read any of this, and we must continue to concentrate on our process, wearing blinders. If you hear the excitement and the desire to compete, it means that recovery is close and you can go to another level.
We are all different. With different conditions, with different starting points, with different injuries, with a different worldview. And there is no point in mowing everyone with the same brush, thinking that everyone is equally easy.
If it's hard for you, then give yourself the opportunity to recover. But you need to understand that recovery does not mean constant self-pity
Pity and self-feeling / self-support are two different things. It’s one thing to say to yourself “I understand that I feel bad now and I’m not ready for achievements yet, I am sad, I’m scared, but I will do a little, supporting myself”. Another thing is to start the morning with "I am so unhappy, no one loves me, I will never succeed, and all the goats and I hate them." The second is the way deeper into the pit. Because you will not become stronger from lamentations and self-torture, and every day such rottenness of forces becomes less. Again, in a self-pity position, the background implies that there is someone who should make you happy instead of you. It's not like that at all. After all, we must do something for our lives. And do not complain that others did not bring and did not put on the dish.
But more on that next time. For now, it is important to understand one thing that if you feel bad, then take care of yourself. It is not a weakness to exclude that which hurts. Give yourself the opportunity to build up strength and regain inner support.
take care of yourself
Recommended:
I Feel Bad With You, But It's Even Worse Without You. Codependency Is Not Love
Recently, I have been working a lot on the study of codependency and codependent relationships. Codependency is the scourge of our time. This is when someone puts their life, happiness, emotions, etc. depending on another person. Codependency is always dishonest and always manipulative.
How To Feel, If You Don't Feel It - 3 Tips
What to do if you know that there are feelings, that they are beautiful and pleasant, but you do not feel them, do not understand what they are inside. You can tell a lot about them, but there is no filling inside, there is no feeling. You can, of course, conclude that I am not sensitive / not sensitive and go on living with it.
Why Do We Feel What We Feel. Forbidden And Allowed Feelings
Life scenario - this is an "unconscious life plan." We start writing it from birth, by the age of 4-5 we define the main points and content, and by the age of 7 our script is already ready. It, like any written script, has a beginning, middle and end.
Feel Sorry For Yourself Or Not Feel Sorry For Yourself?
What does it mean - you can't feel sorry for yourself and you need to get rid of this desire? When should you feel sorry for yourself and when not? In our culture, it is customary to complain to others (friends, acquaintances, colleagues, sometimes even passers-by) and feel sorry for yourself.
My Life Is Shit, Or How Do You Know That You Feel Sorry For Yourself?
Moments of self-pity are characteristic of absolutely all people. For some, this is a "short pause" before further movement forward towards the intended goal, a kind of "rest" from the piled-up problems. For insecure individuals, this is an attempt, sometimes fruitless, to attract the attention and sympathy of the people around them.