2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
ACCEPTANCE AS CONSENT
To accept something else (Peace, Other, Myself) -
so, to begin with, agree with this other …
Quite often in recent years in psychology and psychotherapy, the topic "sounds" acceptance.
This general theme is embodied in specific topics that can often be problematic for a person, and becomes tasks in psychotherapy. Namely:
- Acceptance of your I as a whole and acceptance of individual qualities / parts of your I;
- Acceptance of the World as a whole and its individual aspects / manifestations;
- Acceptance of the Other and the specific Other (parent, spouse, child …)
- Acceptance by the therapist of the client and the client of the therapist …
This topic is important and far from easy. However, in this article I will not prove its importance. Acceptance is a condition for finding harmony in relation to the World, with the Other and with oneself another. This expression has already become almost an axiom in psychology.
I want to focus here on the difficulty in achieving this very acceptance and outline one of the important steps on the path to acceptance.
How to accept something (the World, the Other, Yourself):
- if this something contradicts some already formed image (of the World, Other, Oneself)?
- If It other, not familiar, not the same as I expect, I want, if it is otherwise ?
- If this otherwise loaded with a whole gamut of negative feelings for me?
By itself Adoption something other always associated with the transformation of self-identity and a change in the picture of the World and the picture of the Other. This is something not me as a result of the acceptance process, it must become a part of my I, my I, merge with it. It is not surprising that the acceptance process itself, as a rule, causes strong resistance of the I-system - its stability is violated and the I-system needs additional efforts to "assemble the mosaic into a new picture" and integrate it into a new I-identity.
The former "picture" is protected, as a rule, by a number of strong feelings, such as fear, shame, hatred, resentment … And a person also has a need for a stable, stable, consistent and therefore familiar image of I. And it is not so easy to "slip through" these defenses succeeds. In therapy, it often takes a long time to "clear" the path to to another, not-I, working through, living these feelings, protecting the I from changes, not allowing various nuances in the image of the I, in the image of the World, in the image of the Other. But this is not about that now …
I want to point out here one important mechanism of the adoption, as a kind of a step towards acceptance, which allows you to actually get closer to acceptance. For me, this mechanism is agreement.
Take something other in I (Peace, Other, Myself) means to begin with:
- admit the possibility of this other being.
- agree with this otherwise.
- admit that it is (other) just may be.
- Agree with the very possibility of another to be different, the world to be different, oneself to be different.
- Agree - is to say to yourself: "Something like this …," It happens … "," It has the right to be … "
- Agree - means to find a place in your soul for this Other, other, not-me. … And through this agreement become more integral, multifaceted, richer.
Something like this…)
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