2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Remember the tale from your childhood about the brothers-crows? The one where the mother cursed her children and they turned into ravens. And then she sobbed bitterly …
Parental curses …
These are words from childhood that were spoken by parents with emotions. And most likely - with the best of intentions. Some of them were repeated often, some were once thrown in passing, but …
But once you accepted them, agreed with them, and they put down their destructive roots in your life.
Parental curses are statements with a negative context that have been formulated with a forward-looking message.
For example.
"I am afraid that YOU WILL BE LONELY"
"FOREVER YOU LIKE LITTLE"
"If you behave like this, NO ONE WILL BE FRIENDS WITH YOU"
"Dress warmer, you will get sick!"
"YOU ARE ALWAYS GREATER"
"NOTHING WILL GET OUT OF YOU"
"You are lazy, so you will NEVER GET ANYTHING."
“If you don’t study well, you will grow up and become a janitor”
"If you eat badly, you won't grow up"
"I will do it myself, YOU WILL NOT WORK"
"No one can hold a candle to you"
"You always break everything"
"There is a husband today - not tomorrow"
What to do with them?
Turn them into blessings. Remember your parents or create your own, reworking the old installation in a new way: either partially or completely replacing words and meanings.
And if the body responds to the new setting with lightness and a feeling of inspiration, then the new setting has hit the target.
But what if your own blessing doesn't work? What if the old parenting attitude is firmly seized in all areas of life? And intellectually you understand that it interferes, that it is possible otherwise, but … It still works automatically.
What to do in this case?
Sometimes, in the work with installations, internal resistance arises. Or the new installation does not overlap the old one. Positive words alone are not enough.
Toxic emotions (unlived resentment, guilt, shame) feed an ingrained attitude. Therefore, it is necessary to work not only with the attitude, but also with the emotions. And with self-worth. It is better to free oneself from parental curses and attitudes in a comprehensive manner, working in all directions. The best way to do this is not alone, but with a therapist.
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