2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Author: Vasilaki Irina
If a child is not allowed to belong to himself and his age group, who is he allowed to belong to?
Mom
Mom allows the child to belong only to herself. She puts the child between herself and the outside world to protect herself from this world.
She has her own reasons for this, which affect her attitude towards the child. You shouldn't blame her! (Experts can help you understand these reasons and shape new experiences.)
She looks at the child with admiration and says:
- You are my only support! - What would I do without you? - You are not like everyone else. You stand out from everyone else because I'm your mom.
Children in their age group are on the same rung. In this they are equal. Their difference can be in skills, skills, abilities. One can do what the other cannot. By exchanging experience while playing, communicating, they learn to communicate from each other.
Emphasizing the superiority of the child over their peers, mom unconsciously puts him above them, and sometimes on a par with herself. The child does not have the opportunity to live all the stages of growing up with peers. And this experience is necessary for everyone to build effective relationships in adulthood.
Fencing off the child from this world, the mother exposes him to the blows of life's circumstances:
- You are unique, so do not be friends, do not communicate with this or this. - I did not expect this from you! You are capable or capable of more!
An adult son or daughter does not have the experience to integrate into society, the ability to get along, resist, defend their point of view, because they belonged to their mother, and not to themselves.
- I was always different from my peers, I did not know how to communicate with them. Mom proudly said that I was not like them. I am a "white crow", - said the young man to himself.
He has a promising (money) profession, but he is not successful in it and in his personal life. A second marriage, loans and a belief reinforced by my mother that he is not like everyone else.
There is no experience of communicating with peers, but only experience of communicating with mom
Bottom line. If this prohibition was in your childhood, then tell yourself:
- I allow myself to have many friends! - I allow myself to form my own social circle! - I allow myself to meet new people! - I allow myself a new happy relationship!
We all live in this world. It is common to all of us. And, each of us has the right to this life equally. There are no exceptions.
A selection of articles on this topic
Recommended:
"Don't Cry, Don't Be Afraid, Don't Ask." The Price Of Insensibility
Full control over emotions - isn't that a desirable skill for most people? To stand firmly the smirks of fate, not to experience mental anguish, not to bend or break under any blows of fate and people. To be such an invincible samurai with an impenetrable face.
Allow Yourself To Be, Or Internal Prohibitions And Their Consequences
Emotional discomfort in our life is most often associated with the fact that we cannot choose between "want" and "need". This can manifest itself in activities (I want to rest, I have to work), in feelings (I want to cry, I have to keep my face).
I Don’t Miss, I Don’t Call, I Don’t Cry
There is such a Miracle in the world - psychotherapy. Its main miraculous property is that you go to therapy with a specific goal: to throw out all the "rubbish", to heal. But the whole trick is that you are healed when your "
How To Love Yourself? Why Don't You Love Yourself?
Self-love issues are directly related to a person's self-esteem. How to learn to love yourself again? To begin with, you need to find inside the subconscious the reason that influenced the weakening of sympathy for your inner "I" - at some point in your life you began to put pressure on yourself, and it is very important to understand exactly when this happened.
Viral Emotions: Who Do They Belong To?
Psychiatry today offers a bio-psycho-socio-spiritual model for examining the mechanisms that affect the human psyche. It is believed that in contact with an unhealthy mentally healthy person may experience fear and anxiety. A patient with a certain diagnosis is simply not able to control these emotions, and they are transmitted to others like a virus.
