Why Is My Child Like This?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

"Why does the child behave like this?"

Sometimes parents are ready to hear the truth and look inside themselves, in order to understand the true reasons for this or that behavior of their daughter or son.

Example 1

Mom and Dad are examples of modern people. The woman behind her shoulders 6 formations: from medical to pedagogical. True, she did not work one at a time - because she was all the time in the stream of knowledge. Nevertheless, she perfectly knows the basics of accounting, knows how to drive a tractor (yes, yes), works 16 hours a day, having completed another training, and is very surprised by the behavior of her 5 son, who is hyperactive, has difficulty keeping attention, is aggressive towards peers.

It would seem that all the rest of her free time she devotes to her son, she reads a lot with him, cuts, glues, paints, teaches letters and is in an active educational process. "After all, the son must be smart!" she says proudly.

And the son is different.

It requires a radically opposite approach. With the use of not pedagogical approaches, but, for a start, emotional content. Internal acceptance.

I "teach" my mother to stop and realize her life.

Stop being a social engine and enjoy the process, not the results.

I show how my son reflects her herself. Anti-example.

Example 2

Child 6 years old with mild stuttering. Mom, grandmother and aunts are speech therapists and defectologists. What an irony of fate, they say at the meeting.

In the course of the consultation, the child asks for something from a relative (quite understandable, at least to me), speaking with slight violations. Despite this, there is only one condition in receiving attention, encouragement, feedback - "Say a word without stuttering - then I will give it, I will pay attention, I will go with you." And so the child stands and tries to explain most of the joint meeting, and the requirements from the parents-relatives are becoming more and more professional and professional.

So the family got stuck at a high level of pronunciation.

And I'm not working with a boy.

Example 3

Child 1, 8 years old with a request from his mother: "How to make sure that the child does not get angry, does not beat me, recognizes and calms down, otherwise he cries all the time and does not leave for a minute when I am at home!"

It turned out that my mother went to work at 3 months.

The child developed sleep disorders, after which the mother, tired of her son's lack of sleep and her fatigue … went to sleep in another room. Mom recovered. The boy is not yet.

Main job: with mom and dad to restore trust and healthy affection.

Example 4

Request from mom and dad: "How force love to read daughter? "The child is 8 years old.

I ask the question: "What was the last book you yourself read in the last month?"

Silence.

Mom realized the question faster than dad. Tears. Excitement.

The man leaves in anger: "And what does this have to do with it? I'm not make read her newspapers!"

Example 5

Question: "How can you help your child not to be afraid to go to the toilet?" (the child is clamped and retains feces, no organic disorders were found).

I ask you to show how parents interact with the child - we go to the playroom. We take out toys and create a plot. I see how parents impose the game and the rules, how the child resists, but he is not given the right to freely express himself.

I invite you back to the office.

"Show" it.

Parents in anger put the child in front of them and ask: "Do you really think that we do not allow you to play and express yourself? Answer clearly!"

The boy is crying.

What should I say to him?

Clamping.

I show my parents how demanding and unceremonious they are with a 4, 5 year old child. It's like he's 24, not less than 5 years old.

I give many recommendations on how to relax the requirements and then the baby will not need to restrain the rectum.

Example 6

The neurologist referred the parents to a psychologist.

The child has a tick - blinks tightly pinching his eyes. The child is 4 years old.

Mom is a calm woman, she comes to the appointment on time, we are talking.

I am clarifying the details of the birth when the tick appeared.

A little late comes the second parent - dad.

On the fly, he finds out from me the experience of family life, how many children, saying that he cannot conduct a dialogue with those who themselves do not have children. "What can they teach ?!" After receiving answers, he directs his angry tone at his wife, scolding that it is her fault that she is late.

The room is filled with tension.

My hand twitched softly.

How can a child be?

Example 7

Call.

- Hello, I would like to make an appointment with my son. He does not listen to me, leaves the house, does not call.

- Yes, please … (we are discussing the day and hour convenient for both of us in parallel thinking about a teenage boy in a state of rebellion. In general, about the adolescent period). Further, I clarify how old the "boy" is and whether he agrees to come to the appointment.

- My son is 35 years old …

I say that at this age a boy can call himself and make an appointment if he wants to improve his relationship with his mother.