2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What does it mean - you can't feel sorry for yourself and you need to get rid of this desire? When should you feel sorry for yourself and when not?
In our culture, it is customary to complain to others (friends, acquaintances, colleagues, sometimes even passers-by) and feel sorry for yourself. Many people believe that maintaining a conversation with an interlocutor is possible only by complaining about various life circumstances and feeling sorry for yourself in the conversation. Boasting, on the contrary, is more scary - in our minds there is a deep and uncontrollable fear of envy. This is a kind of magical thinking that strangers can envy success, so you can be left without everything you have.
In psychology, it is generally accepted that one must treat oneself with sympathy, acceptance and respect, not scourge oneself for possible mistakes and mistakes. If various traumatic events occur, as a result of which a person is upset, resentment or frustration arises (a special emotional state that arises as a result of a collision with external obstacles or during an intrapersonal conflict; at the same time, a person cannot achieve his goals and satisfy his needs and desires), you need give free rein to feelings and tears. In general, a prolonged stay in such states can lead to complete disorganization of human activity, affect character (for example, increase aggressiveness), or provoke the development of an inferiority complex.
Open emotions in such states are needed for the further development of a stable mental state of the individual. Regardless of the depth and acuteness of the feelings experienced, it is imperative to give yourself time to emotionally experience them - cry, complain, grieve, and so on. If a person does not provide an opportunity for others to feel sorry for themselves in difficult life situations, the injuries received will remain open and will periodically leave a certain imprint on ordinary life.
In some situations, self-pity is chronic in nature - a person can complain about his life for a year, two, ten years, but at the same time not make any attempts to change the situation for the better. In such cases, people do not try to realize the full depth of the problem, broaden their horizons, rethink their life position, deal with the real causes of complaints and generally accept responsibility for everything that happens in their lives. Over time, pity drags down to the bottom of the emotional state, becomes toxic, and morally pressure on a person. Such situations must be prevented.
At what point is pity a necessity, and at what point is it excessive? Only the person himself can answer this question, having critically analyzed the current situation.
What could be behind self-pity?
- a long-standing trauma that a person cannot get rid of;
- previous years of hard work and powerlessness to move further towards the intended goal;
- depression and so on.
All of these reasons can really be called objective and respectful in order to complain and give vent to feelings, to fully experience your emotions. There is time to heal the wounds received, and there is time to move towards the intended goal. And only each of us must choose the direction of further movement, and for this it is necessary to honestly answer a fairly simple question - does the feeling of pity feed (support) you or does it eat you from the inside?
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