2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We all constantly experience some kind of feelings in relation to ourselves, most often we do not even pay attention to it. Moreover, as it is fairly believed, there are no good or bad feelings. The whole palette of these feelings is important for us. But sometimes it happens that some feeling becomes "main". This happens often unnoticed by the person himself. But the consequences of such a selection of a certain feeling can lead a person to very unpleasant consequences.
Self-pity is familiar to everyone, we usually begin to use this feeling as early as childhood, as a means of self-soothingness in difficult situations. But often this habit, but more "developed" people take away into adulthood. Yes, this feeling is present in every person, if it is not specifically suppressed, it ensures our respect for ourselves. At the same time, it sometimes happens that it is pity for oneself that becomes a leading feeling for a person.
Pity implies forgiveness for doing something. Remember how you feel sorry for a sick child, while you forgive him for his whims. You understand and explain to yourself his condition, while it does not occur to you in such a state to punish the child for such behavior. And if this approach is fully justified with children, then when it comes to an adult and healthy person, such an excuse is very doubtful.
It is clear that excessive pity puts a person in the position of a victim, circumstances, other people, fate and evil fate. But there is one more unpleasant detail. Often it is this kind of pity that prevents a person from developing. You understand that development is not only about obtaining information, but also about applying it in real life.
The one who regrets himself usually initially imagines a negative scenario, and, therefore, does not take any steps to apply even valuable information in practice. In fact, this is how a person begins to feel sorry for himself even before something happens. And therefore does not perform any action. In other words, self-pity interferes with development.
At the same time, a person always has an excuse (we remember about forgiveness out of pity) in front of himself, because he only feels sorry for himself. Cool excuse for your behavior, the main thing is convincing. It's so delightful to feel sorry for yourself, investing in this huge amount of energy. Such a model of attitude towards oneself develops in a person only helplessness and deprives him of the opportunity to improve his life.
Sometimes people do not even notice that they are using just such a model of attitude towards themselves, while looking for the cause of troubles in their lives in completely different areas, but to no avail. Such excessive pity may be due to a lack of self-love. Such a surrogate, in the form of excessive pity, is sometimes for a person a substitute for sincere self-love and self-acceptance.
It is worth learning to love and accept yourself, it is useful, even from the point of view that you do not have a spare life, and you will have to live with yourself all your life, there is simply no other option.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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