Good Bad Feelings

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It would be strange if unpleasant feelings (anger, sadness, etc.) were liked by people and caused pleasant feelings. Imagine:

- Yesterday I was so angry, I haven't experienced such pleasure for a long time;

Or:

- Thanks for the fight today. It still hurts so nicely in my soul.

It would be strange to rejoice in the unhappy. And, in general, people are arranged differently. We do not like to be sad, angry, discouraged … So much so that some of us are taught to ignore, control, suppress these experiences. As if it would reduce the number of events that arouse the corresponding feelings. As if if you learn to control anger, then butterflies will fly around and the world will become kind.

This world is made up of good people who don't have bad feelings. Where are they? Condemned, hidden, pushed in. They are covered with a screen of prohibitions of condemning attitudes, the experience of misunderstanding, rejection and rejection.

From childhood, a person learns how to deal with bad feelings harshly:

- Well, why are you so uncomfortable and don't sit still?

- What, what, you don't like something ?! How is it? You have no reason, no reason … and no right.

Shouts, laughter, crying, free expression of dissatisfaction, their disagreeing opinion end with calls from adults to keep them to themselves. In essence, it is a call to abandon a part of oneself. Uncontrollable - yes, uncomfortable - yes, ugly - yes, but OWN.

Not to hear what is happening to you.

For love and acceptance.

• You can convince yourself that there are no bad feelings or that they are under control. Cover perception with white spots. Believe in the power and exceptional importance of only good feelings.
• Only bad feelings are incredibly tenacious and resourceful. They know how to find gaps and seriously ruin the holiday. If not in a direct way, then in a roundabout way.
• You can choose a disease. For any diagnosis and location in the body.
• On the road to exile, grab some good feelings. Hello depression and lack of meaning in life.
• You can be good to others. Believe that it’s right without noticing the discomfort.
• You can find good in everything, and then break down over a trifle.
• You can learn to take offense. Consider people bad. The world is wicked. And yourself a victim.
• Can…

The reluctance to experience negative feelings is associated with the fear of discovering your vulnerability:

• If I get angry, I will lose control of myself. And this will lead me to weakness, violate my goals, I will feel bad. I have to do something about this anger.
• If I find pain inside myself, I will not be able to live normally. It will make me weak, vulnerable. It will be hard for me. I can't stand it.
• If I relax and no longer control everything, then there will be a disaster and I will not be safe. Nobody can protect me.

It's not safe to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is risk.

When you recognize bad feelings in yourself, understand the reasons for their occurrence and your reactions to these feelings, you have the opportunity to choose to change your reactions and perception of situations that cause unpleasant feelings.

"I thought I drowned my demons, but they learned to swim."

After all, they want to be noticed.

Or not?