2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I don't really like the word "self-sufficient" that is fashionable nowadays. If you are enough for yourself, then what is the point of being in a relationship? Personally, I like the word "holistic" much more.
In my article "The arithmetic of relationships" I wrote about how the intrapersonal deficits of each partner affect the quality and integrity of their relationship. Conflicts in a couple most often arise precisely because of deficiencies, those internal holes that you want to fill at the expense of your partner. This is how relationships are formed, which are called codependent in the psychological literature.
Who is an integral person? I tried to sketch a kind of "portrait" of an integral person, formulating his features. The list, of course, is not exhaustive, it can be expanded and supplemented, but even an orientation towards the listed 20 criteria can give a certain understanding of one's own integrity. This list can be consulted and used for self-diagnosis.
Signs of a Whole Person
- A holistic person knows what he wants and what he can. Therefore, he respects the desires and limitations of Others.
- An integral person can satisfy most of his desires and needs himself. And if he cannot, then he asks
- A holistic person is not afraid to ask. Because he knows how to accept refusal. They accept the right of others to refuse
- A holistic person asks directly - without hints, expectations that the Other will guess about his need. No requirements, claims and manipulations
- A holistic person knows how to thank, because he knows how to admit that he received from another benefit that he himself does not have
- A holistic person develops because he has interest and will
- A holistic person knows how to empathize with Others, because he accepts his feelings.
- A holistic person knows how to trust, because he is confident
- A holistic person knows how to be in closeness with Others, because he is in closeness with himself
- A holistic person is satisfied with life, because he knows that everything that is in his life at the moment is the result of his own choice
- A holistic person knows how to accept the Challenges of Fate and respond to them with dignity
- Whole person does not pretend to be pleasing
- Whole person makes decisions and is responsible for them
- A holistic person is honest, first of all, to himself
- The holistic man is brave
- Whole person is sensitive
- A holistic person admits his mistakes and therefore knows how to forgive the mistakes of others
- A holistic person knows how to share and give, because he has something.
- A holistic person is not afraid to die, because they - live
- A holistic person is not perfect, he is unique!
You can find your deficiencies and find a way to fill them with the help of a psychotherapist. I don't know yet a more efficient way.
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