Learn To Be Happy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Life is, in fact, a wonderful thing. Our every day is filled with many events that can potentially make us happy and bring a lot, a lot of pleasure.

But why can't we take advantage of this abundance? What is the secret of the ability to experience happiness and maintain this state?

One of my clients suffered from headaches for a long time. Every day, can you imagine? Without a break for the weekend, months and years!

One day she bought a moped. And after a few days she noticed that when she sits on it and goes somewhere, the headache recedes. Everything took place in a matter of minutes.

What is this wonderful driving effect?

It turned out that while driving, she felt overwhelming happiness. There was nothing and no one else: only she, the sound and vibration of the motor, and the wind that develops the hair, and the feeling of freedom.

How can you achieve the same effect from other activities? After all, we are all different and different things make us happy too!

There are several habits that prevent you from getting the most out of what you really enjoy.

Here they are.

The first thing most people do is persist in pursuit of happiness.

We focus so much on fulfilling this mission, constantly checking our feelings against our ideas about happiness, taking measurements and monitoring … And we are missing a lot of what is happening right now.

The fact is that happiness lies precisely in the process and in the ability to immerse oneself in this process at the level of all the senses. Happiness is felt both outside and inside. And when this happens, then we experience this wonderful feeling.

The second mistake is the search for meaning and usefulness.

We allow ourselves only that happiness that, in our opinion, will be appropriate and bring results: for the future or for health, for the image or in order to prove something to ourselves.

All this can be a side effect of happiness, but the main thing is that the feeling of happiness comes exactly where there is no sense.

From contemplation of the beautiful or from creating something with your own hands, from a simple walk or even from lying in a clearing for several hours, when you can let your thoughts just wander without a goal.

The third mistake is an attempt to use other people's recipes.

We all know the sea is good. Mountains are not bad either. Children seem to be a working option as well.

What else? Good movie? Book? Flowers? Sunsets and sunrises? Music?

Doesn't work with you? Does not work?

I hate to upset you, but there is no universal recipe. If you feel happy when you gaze at passers-by or when you wash your windows, you are a very lucky person who has found something that really pleases him. And I don't care that it doesn't help others. You are unique and your happiness too)

The fourth mistake is trying to scale happiness.

Do you like planting flowers? This means that we will plant the entire area with front gardens.

The point is, chocolate also makes most people happy. But you won't eat it all day, will you? You understand that very soon you will start to feel sick, and in the morning the allergy will also arrive in time. So it is with other sources of happiness.

Take care of yourself and give yourself a rest)

The penultimate mistake is the expectation of happiness.

We wait for him so much, imagine how it will be, experience the joy as if in advance. And when everything happens, we no longer feel anything. Even worse, we are disappointed.

Remember the main Gestalt principle? It is to be here and now. In order not to be disappointed, one must not be fascinated and not wait)

Everything will happen at the right time, but for now, just be here. There are many interesting things here too)

And the most important mistake is that we stopped believing in happiness.

Small children know how to be happy - just like in a reader, on all the previous points.

Freud believed that the behavior of babies is regulated mainly by the search for pleasure and avoidance of suffering. They are masters in this)

But over the course of life, children are faced with the inability to maintain happiness all the time. Sometimes due to circumstances (well, you cannot return the balloon that flew into the sky) or due to social norms (you want to tear off the wallpaper from the wall, but your parents are against it).

Normally, growing up, the child learns to correlate his desires with reality and look for ways to get pleasure in other ways.

But it so happens that there were too many prohibitions or the whole life story developed in such a way that there was more sadness than joy. And then we forget how to experience happiness, we forget how to do it.

Fortunately, happiness can be learned)

The main thing is to believe that it is there, not to expect too much and too much, not to make sense and not to act according to the instructions.

And suddenly, at some point, you will feel this most magical, such a desired feeling - when there is only you, and the sky, and the wind, and your head no longer hurts either)