2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You know, almost every horror movie has an interesting moment. When the protagonist finds himself in a very dangerous place where he can be eaten, he comes face to face with the previous victim. This frightened, half-eaten person shouts or looks and warns “Run !!!”.
Every time a person stuck in a tough codependent relationship turns to me, I find myself in the dragon's cave eye-to-eye with just such a half-eaten victim. And the first thing I have a desire is to shout to her "Run!"
I'm not talking about those cases where the destruction of codependency comes along with a family or age crisis. Many people have it.
The Dragon Cave is a family in which, in fact, from the very beginning, humiliation, manipulation and control were the main manifestations of love. In such a relationship, common sense ceases to work and a man is loved only because he is a biological father, and a pregnant girl abandoned by him opens her veins and a child who rebelled due to lack of blood saves her from death.
And mostly girls come with similar scary stories and always ask to make a decision instead of them. Should I give a second chance? What if it changes? What can I do to save my cozy hell? Forgive or leave?
I would like to explain that the dragon will not change, will not love. Explain that no matter how much you kiss dragons, they don't turn into something beautiful and white. The desire to save the poor, unfortunate victim, to snatch it from the clutches of the monster, is included.
But it is worth bringing a mirror and you can see that the Victim is one of the heads of Karpman's triangular monster. The tyrant sits in the depths of the cave, and the psychologist is invited to the place of the third head - the Rescuer. And the body is covered with scales "I know how it should be."
This is very dangerous, because the line between help and rescue is thin. This is very tempting, because the rescuer can achieve omnipotence, albeit in a single cave. But if you want to help someone at least, keep quiet and just ask.
Codependent relationships are like a special circle of hell on earth, inherited. Sometimes, of course, you can get stuck in them by accident. To get acquainted, to fall in love, to trust and then to forgive. If you want to save yourself, don't forgive.
The walls of the codependency cave are saturated with pity and forgiveness, and in the depths a fire of dislike is burning and all the prisoners of the cave are sitting around it. They know love very well - this is attention and it doesn't matter how you get it - by strength, weakness or indifference.
And if you found out your relationship, but do not know what to do?
All the same, run !!!
But remember, escape from the cave with a dragon can be arranged if the princess realizes that she herself is a little dragon. Otherwise, it will be a dash from one monster to another.
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