10 Things You Still Need To Tell Your Child About Mom

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Video: 10 Things You Still Need To Tell Your Child About Mom

Video: 10 Things You Still Need To Tell Your Child About Mom
Video: 8 Hurtful Things Parents Tell Children 2024, April
10 Things You Still Need To Tell Your Child About Mom
10 Things You Still Need To Tell Your Child About Mom
Anonim

10 things your mom never told you:

1. She cries for you … a lot.

2. She wanted this last piece of cake.

3. It hurts.

4. She is always afraid.

5. She knows that she is imperfect.

6. She looked at you when you sleep.

7. She "carried" you for much more than 9 months.

8. Her heart broke every time you cried.

9. She puts you first.

10. She would do it all one more time, and one more time.

All this should be discussed with the child. So that he knows and feels that mom is alive, she has feelings and experiences. This is the surest way to get your child to talk to you about their feelings. This is how to set an example for him: this is how you can and should. I am ready to endure and accept my feelings. This means that I am ready to endure and accept yours, whatever they are: sad, terrible, joyful.

Maybe you remember being little when you wanted to tell your mom something, but you "didn't want to upset her." How did you know you would upset her then? From there, that there was no example of what my mother spoke about her feelings, that she was hurt, sad, scared. And there was no example that my mother would endure this pain and not collapse. The child concludes: there is no need to tell mom about unpleasant things.

Another thing is that this should be said by age. At 4-5 years old, you can say "I also want a cake. And I'm not ready to share it with you now." The child will survive this and draw conclusions. For example, such that he, too, is not always obliged to share, and mom, and therefore others, will survive it.

But about my fears - I would have thought when to speak and when not. First, I am constantly working with my fears, and many of them transform or disappear. Second, when telling your child about your fears and concerns, it is good to immediately reinforce them with practical guidance on how to protect yourself. For example, when sharing your fears about war, immediately tell what you can do and what not, where to be careful and what to pay attention to. If this is not supported, then only the child's fear will remain. If you reinforce, then there will be knowledge of how you can protect yourself as much as possible. This knowledge does not guarantee a cloudless life and a complete absence of fear. But it gives understanding and partial control over the situation, and this reduces fear.

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