2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"What kind of people do we like" is a seemingly banal question. But no. If you approach it thoughtfully, then you can realize that the answer to this question determines us and our life to a large extent. So, understanding the answer to such a question determines:
- family relationships (after all, people are trying to look for a partner for a relationship precisely from among the candidates they like)
- labor relations (the employment process itself begins with the fact that we want us to like the applicant)
- politics (the candidate, through the efforts of PR specialists and image makers, does everything in his power to attract the electorate)
- retail sales (the percentage of sales due to the seller's service, due to personally submitted advertising in modern marketing is definitely higher, due to reviews from other buyers, it consistently exceeds the volume of purchases that are focused on the technical characteristics of the product)
Therefore, try to ask the question “what kind of people do I like” to yourself (to yourself) or to someone from your environment. What can you think or hear?
I like:
- smart
- uninhibited
- kind
- consecutive
- purposeful
- funny
- serious
- responsive
This list is more than variable - there can be many positions. But! Is it true? Do we really like some character traits in other people?
From a separate point of view, we do not like the characters of the people around us, but the way people around us fulfill our needs.
Sounds selfish. And this is really about selfishness. About the most natural selfishness. But after all, it is egoism (not to be confused with egocentrism with the principle of "I and only I") that makes us successful and happy.
But why is it important for us to know about this?
A) we often label “this person I like” not because we want to trust them, but because something in them clings to us. That is, we often create relationships automatically, not understanding the value that we are pursuing.
B) we often do not understand whether we should continue the relationship. We doubt, we try to think, weigh the pros and cons, but we do not track the real needs that cling to us.
C) we don't understand HOW to keep a relationship afloat or develop a relationship. After all, for this to happen, it is important to understand what needs we (both partners) are unconsciously trying to realize at the expense of each other.
And here it is useful to create a list of questions for yourself that would allow you to understand what needs you are trying to fulfill at the expense of people around you:
Try to choose from your environment a person who you do not like and who you like. And try asking yourself the following set of questions in relation to both of your chosen "subjects":
How much do I like to open up in front of a person, tell him (her) something about myself?
How comfortable is it for me to ask for help and support from this person?
How much admiration for this person do I feel?
How much do I like and manage to command (control, dominate) this person?
How easy is it for me to ask this person for praise and compliments?
How much do I enjoy being around this person, knowing that we are a couple?
How easily does this person understand me?
There is a high probability that you will get a clear discrepancy in the ability of these people to fulfill your needs. I.e:
We surround ourselves with those people who can participate in the realization of our desires …
Well, and finally, a little provocative question: "What kind of people do you personally like?"
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