2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Up to 25 years old. When I looked in the mirror, and I rarely looked into it, I could not understand how I looked. What is the criterion - I am nothing, everything is absolutely bad.
Or there, for example, beautiful.
I could not find the answer in the reflection, except I do not know.
Then I looked around and admired so many girls. I examined their facial features: sharp cheekbones, a neat nose, plump lips, emerald eyes. At some point, it even seemed strange to me that I had such an interest in the female sex. But I was looking for an answer there.
By analogy, what I see beautiful with them, do I see with myself. No. Then I felt just awful. I was ashamed of who I am.
Then I noticed that in general I am interesting to men, many people give me compliments. And I am, but no, this is not about me. Shyly did not accept their words.
Somehow it dawned on me and I remembered history. I am 11 years old, I have two dogs - a large black and white Collie and a miniature pinscher. On the street there is a hurricane of 30 m / s and my mother did not let me and my sister go to school. We went there on foot every day for 3 km in each direction.
Everyone left on business, including my older sister, who disappeared somewhere. Dogs need to go to the toilet. On the walk, I held the Pinscher in my arms, because he was blown away by the fuck, collie on a leash. A dog attacks me and knocks me down, gnaws and then runs to eat a pinscher. Then I walk covered in blood, I don’t feel the half of my face and neck.
Hospitals, bed, pain, screams and scandals with the owners of the dog. I was not allowed to look in the mirror for more than a month, I vaguely remember what happened to me at that time. The brain took care and threw this information out of memory.
"My daughter was mutilated by your dog, this is a girl, what will happen to her next?" -
my mother did not calm down in horror. She stood and pointed her finger at me.
That's how I remained "disfigured" with a scar on my face. Inside, too, is similar. For a long time I tried to understand what I am, I studied myself from all sides. Then I began to like myself. Well, I'm kind of beautiful.
Then, with the help of time, various methods and interest in myself, I fell in love with my appearance, body and myself. Although I will not hide, regressions towards hatred, unfortunately, do happen. But the funny thing is, with the progression of love, even the scars became invisible.
I wanted to write the meaning of this story at the end, but I won't. But what I understood 100% - every morning of my life I will wake up first of all with myself and look into my reflection. And it only depends on me what I want to see there. From love to yourself, you become beautiful inside and out.
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