2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
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Life is going pretty measured. Until unexpectedly we stumble. We stumble over the Other.
Saying “Other” I understand - a person who has his own needs, vision, experience, a picture of the world, feelings, emotions, beliefs, neural networks that differ from ours … This Other can sometimes be found in the same apartment in which we live. And it may even happen that our “piece” (but what can we be modest about - the most part, having inherited all the best from us …) suddenly turned into this Other.
Children, husbands, wives, relatives, friends, loved ones, colleagues, clients … - all at some point may find themselves. As we approach them, we can open ourselves in our otherness.
Or we may not open it.
A husband who stares at the ceiling with indifference when his wife makes claims. And as soon as the stream of claims weakens, returning to the usual comfortable channel under the name "I basically didn't want anything bad, even so Harasho" … A wife who has been collecting, saving and expressing these claims with devotion for decades. Not noticing that they fly past her beloved's ears with a whistle of bullets. Without changing her, or him, or their life.
The parent, who has always dreamed that the child will win a place under the sun for himself and his parent in addition, suddenly discovers that the child is the Other. The child has limitations: he does not study well, does not know how to communicate, and if you tell him how to do it, he falls into a hysterical state or closes in, instead of twisting his mustache and becomes normal.
This can be a painful meeting. At this point, the Other can be perceived as a hindrance, or as one who does not live up to expectations.
The other person is real. Meeting him can bring completely different feelings. Respond with echoes of a long-forgotten heartache or sadness. Return to our own world with withered flowers and rickety walls of the house. Remind of the absence of a strong owner who does not expect benefits from the outside and distinguishes his own expectations from the real state of affairs.
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