Five Phrases That Every Child Needs To Hear, Even If He Is A Little Over

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

From what words we choose, referring to the child and other people, their condition and further relationships very often depend. Let's talk about words that will help build a sense of self-worth in a child and an adult, and will really support.

I love you

Perhaps, everything begins with this phrase. One could even say that her alone is enough for the child to understand, then the world was waiting for him, that you can be yourself in this world and develop and grow without fear. And this is a complete phrase: you should not use it as an argument in an argument or a means of pressure on a child. “I love you, so you have to…” doesn't work.

And it's great when she is said sincerely, looking into the eyes and hugging a child. You should not say it in a hurry, or "leave me alone." These are too important words, and the child needs to believe in them.

I am close to you

We need someone else next to us who accepts and supports us. This is especially needed by children for whom the world is incomprehensible, and only the presence of a parent helps them to orient themselves and move in their development.

But as adults, we can be confused, upset, or scared. And here it is also very important to understand that we are not all alone in this.

What you feel is normal

For a child, any emotion he experiences is a stream that overwhelms and carries him. Children do not know how to distinguish emotions, they can only give them a general differentiation "I feel good - I feel bad." And it is precisely the task of the adult to teach the child to distinguish between emotions and to give permission to experience them all. “You’re probably frightened now, the dog barked very loudly”, “You’re probably sad because you need to say goodbye to your friends”, “You seem to be very happy with the gift” - examples of phrases that help the child understand what is wrong with him now happens. And it's great when a parent can remain calm enough, seeing the different emotions of the child, showing and saying that his feelings are normal.

Adults sometimes need the same thing - allowing them to feel and live. And it is advisable to do this in contact with another person.

What can I do for you now?

This is how we show the child that his needs are important to us now, and we are ready to satisfy them. In the case of a child, this can be a little more difficult, as children do not always understand what they need at the moment. Therefore, you can offer options: "Maybe you want me to hug you?" or "Perhaps you would like me to give you some time?" So gradually the child will learn how he can get what he needs.

With adults, this is a little easier: they can usually name what they need at the moment. And the feeling that someone is ready to give us support and help already helps by itself.

I believe in you

This phrase seems formulaic, but it has a lot of power. For a child who is confident in the almost omnipotence of a parent, to understand that mom or dad believes in him is already a guarantee of confidence. And the point here is not in what result the child will achieve, but simply in the confidence in his "sufficiency": the parent sees him as already smart enough, capable, skillful. It's great when such words of support are still accompanied by a hug or stroking the back between the shoulder blades (this is the so-called point of parental support in body therapy).

And the same goes for adults. We all sometimes doubt ourselves, especially in the pursuit of external success, and at such moments we can forget that we are already enough. And that all our actions must come from within, their sense of self-worth. Another person can remind us of this.

How often do you say these words to your loved ones? And how often do you hear them?