2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It helps to bring together the elements that are already in your life, connect them with certain connections and create a kind of concept as to why you are at a certain stage.
You can do something in this situation only using the material of the same situation. You start to fight this state of affairs, try to change it, but in reality it turns out that the situation either does not change at all and your problem does not go away, or it becomes even more complicated. Either the problem ends, you sigh with relief, but after a while you realize that in a similar situation you find yourself in a similar problem.
Running in a circle and, on the one hand, it's good that you understand this. But why doesn't this understanding help you in any way?
Why doesn't it work like that?
Because the process of understanding in itself does not bring anything new into your life. And we are changing only at the level of innovation. We have a chance to change only by noticing something new. And when we notice only what has already happened, then we confirm our concept. And that's all.
The ability to analyze your life situation is inversely proportional to the ability to change it.
The more understanding, the less change
Why?
Because when we explain what is happening to us, this is the end point of our path. In this place we calm down. At a time when we are confused and are in, trying to understand what is happening to us and how to deal with it, we still have a chance to develop. At the same time, when you have explained to yourself what is happening, a stop occurs:
- I understood (a), - you say, - I suffer from what I suffer, I don't like what I don't like, because, for example, I was not loved in childhood, I was never understood.
And then low self-esteem or lack of skills to accept love, which was not given by parents, becomes a sentence.
In this place, a person, albeit with bitterness, but calms down
You don't need to change anymore.
Unfortunately, this strategy is almost instinctively inherent in everyone who grew up in a culture based on determinism. At the time an event happens in your life, you automatically attribute a reason to it. And it can be either external or internal. External presupposes that someone or something else is to blame for the way the situation has developed. The difficult economic situation, education, and so on. The inner one says that I ascribe responsibility for what is happening to myself. Here the forecast is much better, because a person can ask himself how he can change this situation …
And he begins to change himself
And it comes to the same dead end. Because he uses all the same building material - the knowledge that we already have.
What to do?
The second type of awareness is close to another verb - notice. This process does not involve causation and analysis. It is simply a note of what is happening in your life today.
Your job in this process is to notice something new. For example, notice that you felt joy when you were given a compliment, rather than running out of shame out of habit.
Your life will begin to change only through such small innovations.
Why?
Imagine the current atmosphere in some kind of team. Using the first type - understanding - we are trying to understand how everything works in this circle of people, who is friends with whom, against whom and why. And so it happened, and everyone agrees with this. Now imagine that new people come to this team, some bright and charismatic, who begin to change the existing system of relations. There is no more opportunity to preserve the usual type of connections, this team will change.
In the same way, new phenomena that you notice in your life begin to change it. You will now have to consider their existence as well. And if earlier you noticed only what fits into the concept of your understanding, now something goes beyond this concept.
This is the basis for the revolution
Understanding begins to grind. If earlier you understood everything, now something is happening that you cannot explain.
And now you have to live in a life in which there is love, affection, a response to you that you did not notice before. Due to this, life becomes more flexible, more varied and is being rebuilt all the time.
Therefore, pay more attention to what you notice and analyze less what is happening to you.
If you need instrumental support to develop this skill, see Perls Goodman Hefferlin's Gestalt Therapy Workshop. With simple experiments, first to last, the culture of awareness will begin to change. And the best way to instill this culture is to come to ours.
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