Conflict Of Values

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How many times have you had to choose between two options that are important to you? For example, a robot or a family? It can be formulated in another way: what if the movement towards one value turns away from another? This is a very difficult choice.

The key to hopelessness here is to consider these options not as better or worse, but as equivalent but different. Then you will already be choosing the reasons for the choice: not because one is better than the other, but because it is necessary to make your decision.

It is important to remember that what we call a value conflict is actually a conflict of goals, timing, and patterns.

One of the biggest challenges for many is balancing the robot and personal life. Many have to be torn between family and work. But what if the choice isn't really between work? What if the choice is to surrender completely to both and put aside conflict and disruption?

Since values are about quality rather than quantity of actions, the amount of time spent realizing values does not strongly reflect their importance to you. If you need a 12-hour day to complete a project, a messenger message to your loved one can retain the value of “being a loving partner” for you. We all spend time on areas of different value, depending on the circumstances. But being in one area does not mean that you value other areas less.

Values are not really limited or prohibited. They provide a breadth that we ourselves are not capable of due to the lack of a constant source of support. Values provide us with a more conscious "movement towards" and reduce the possibility of reflexive and unproductive "movements from".

Difficult choices can be liberating because they help define who you really are and demonstrate your ability to shape your life. Accepting the pain of abandoning the road that you didn't take will give you full confidence in the decision you made.

However, living according to your values, and their effective implementation, do not lose their difficulties. Despite our confidence and determination, we all face dilemmas. It's not always fun and easy to move in the direction of your values, at least in the beginning. But this initial discomfort is the price to pay to enter a meaningful life.

Choice involves loss. You give up on the unchosen path, and after the loss there is pain, sadness, even pity. You may know why you are doing something and still feel sad or anxious about it. But even if your choice turns out to be wrong, it is good to know that the basis for the decision was correct. You will be able to boldly, with interest, and compassion for yourself open up to yourself.

According to Viktor Frankl, even if we die, we can choose, based on our values, how to live our last days. These are what he called the values of the relationship that are always available to a person.

Knowing who you are and what you stand for, you come to a life choice with the most powerful equipment - the fullness of your “I”.

The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David