2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
“I am also responsible for mom, dad, daughter, negligent subordinates. They are disorderly children. You never know what they will do ?! The desire to be responsible for everyone and everything - where do the legs grow from?
There are women in Russian villages who can do anything. And the people around them are like small children, but unreasonable, behind whom you need an eye and an eye.
You guessed right - the second side of responsibility is power.
“Where are you stupid yourself …? I am smarter, I am stronger, I have two higher ones, and you? Sit and listen to what the "mother" says. " Wife, boss, mother, smart strong daughter, and in fact - "mother" who "knows best".
Who and when charged this woman with responsibility for everything, and thereby gave her power?
“You have to feed the children and take out your husband,” my mother used to say to me from early childhood. I have forgotten this phrase. And recently, by the way, my mother remembered and was surprised - why did she instill this in me? What for? My grandmother was domineering, one of those who went through hunger, cold, dispossession and war and did not break down - they raised children and raised them to their feet. For this you need an unreal power. And so that everyone around obey. “Anything can happen in life, but you have to feed the children and take out your husband” - this is the maternal attitude. I don’t think she was born in my mother’s head. From the depths of female generations, she goes - her mother told my grandmother, and that - hers. From those very "women in Russian villages."
there is such a scientific term "disability" - this is when a normal adult, teenager or child is turned into a disabled person. a disabled person, in the sense of not being able, not capable, careless, stupid, and most importantly, someone who cannot bear responsibility for himself, is not able to make decisions that need constant control
There are a lot of such "controlled" women from Russian villages. Husband, son, daughter, employees, careless colleagues, subordinates, mother, "who is like a little child herself"; dad to whom she wants to be a "good daughter", and in fact - a wife, "better than mom."
"So what, should I give my loved ones freedom from my care?" - the client asks me. Good idea.
Only then you will have to give up power, control, the pathos of the victim - “Ah, I alone pull everything on myself! I am responsible for everything! If this is firmly embedded in the self-image, then it is very difficult to part with your rescue-sacrificial position. And to admit their aggressive influence on relatives, subordinates and negligent colleagues - even more so.
Everything has a price. And “the one who is responsible for everything” pays at the rate of one hundred rubles per euro.
He pays with a lack of strength for himself, time for his interests, twitchiness, over-running, not being present in his own life.
And then - if something happens, who is to blame?
The one who is responsible for everything.
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