I HAVE BEEN A PERSPECTIVE CHILDHOOD

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There is a popular expression: "You can take a girl from a village, but not a village from a girl."

The same can be said about poverty and poverty …

I found this definition of poverty on Wikipedia:

"Poverty is a condition characterized by a severe lack of basic human needs such as food, drinking water, sanitation, health, shelter, education and information."

And here is the moment I would like to note. We have all gone through the 90s, years of a general collapse of everything that can only collapse, years of poverty and lack of resources. Most of the population has experienced a severe decline in living standards. And yes, most have learned what poverty is.

Just talking about poverty, I mean that it is poorer than poverty. This is when the majority do not have butter to spread on bread, but some do not have bread. So I will write about those who did not even have bread. Who was an order of magnitude below the poverty line. When, maybe, many were bad, and some were even worse.

We all come from the 90s, and some come from poverty. And the worst thing is that this poverty permeated not only childhood, not only memories. Poverty settles in the head. Poverty permeates life and is often transmitted through genes.

Children are like sponges, they absorb everything. And if poverty is around, poverty is absorbed: the look of shabby, shabby walls with peeling wallpaper, dilapidated furniture with shabby corners, worn door handles, cracked paint on window frames.

Poverty has a smell, which is as if you are soaked: mustiness, staleness, rags. Poverty has the smell of disease and filth.

But the saddest thing is different. If you live in cheap, drink and eat cheap, dress in cheap, then you begin to perceive yourself as something very cheap. With markdown, used.

What is fraught with a poverty-stricken childhood?

It is a chronic shame for a long adult life. The shame for their cheap appearance, for clothes that are not in size for a long time, are very small and are patched in several places. Shame for feeling like an outsider, feeling like on the sidelines of society, in the gallery of life. An idea is being formed that life, people, success, money are all somewhere out there, but here is the process of the existence of a lower caste, here is survival. The flaw cuts into the notion of who I am and why I am here.

What else is poverty dangerous for? A habit of obsolescence is formed. The eyes, accustomed to cracking, dirt, brokenness, cheapness, peeling, holes with holes simply do not notice all this. And already in your independent life you miss the moments that can be improved: paint the walls, buy new furniture, dishes, clothes, throw out the worn-out things, make repairs, wash the walls in the toilet, put things in order … After all, an external mess is a sign of chaos in your head.

This is the habit of living in constraints, in cramped conditions, within limits. The habit of squeezing yourself, saving, deny yourself comfort and convenience when you already can. Poverty remains a brain cell, from which it is not so easy to get out. It's just that the cell is no longer visible, it has become a part of bones and tissues, blood pulsates through its rods.

A famous experiment about a pike that got used to a small aquarium and swam in a confined space, even when the aquarium was expanded. Or the experience with fleas in a jar with a lid that keep jumping inside the jar even when the lid is gone. A consciousness raised in poverty gets used to living in the same bank.

It seems to me a baby elephant that was raised in a small aviary. While the baby elephant was small, it had a place to turn around, take a step to the side, and walk. But now he has grown into a large elephant and he felt cramped, stuffy, smelly in the walls of the enclosure.

We have grown up and the aviary is gone for a long time. The walls have fallen. But consciousness remembers, it absorbed the knowledge of the inviolability of this cell for a long time. After all, in poverty you grow up among these twigs:

"We can't afford it"

"It's too expensive for us"

"We are not Rockefellers"

"No money left"

No money left. No money. There is nothing. There is nothing …

You know, I don't believe in the Cinderella story. I do not believe that a girl who is always smeared, soiled, accustomed to kicks and handouts, could get used to the image of a beautiful princess in just one night. Everything is so elegant, graceful, sophisticated.

Aha! How … It doesn't happen, it's only in fairy tales. But in reality, from such a girl, it will sound like a poor and wretched person through body movements, through speech, through a look, facial expressions.

Moreover, poverty often goes hand-in-hand with sloppiness and sloppiness. This is angularity of movements, tension, stiffness, stiffness, stiffness. You can change your dress overnight, but that's not all. Especially if our Cinderella grew up in a family of ordinary workers. Especially if she grew up in some Khrenozalupinsk.

Well … that's what she's a fairy tale!

After a poor childhood, there is no culture of dealing with resources: money, your time, your energy. The concern for their comfort and convenience has not been brought up.

You will have to accustom yourself to resources slowly and carefully. You need to train yourself to be successful. Time will pass until the understanding gradually comes that I CAN! Faith that this is possible. There is money! There are possibilities. There is something to eat. There is no enclosure, no walls.

In the meantime, money will either be habitually saved (restraining yourself in spending, squeezing in spending, not allowing anything superfluous), or spent on the principle "carried the mare into the sorrel", when money is slipping through your fingers. You have to get used to money.

It takes some getting used to comfort. Also gradually. Learn to create aesthetics around you. Remove trash from the house and from the head. It is important to learn to see this garbage, to isolate it from the general familiar background.

Learn to wear these dresses and crystal shoes, learn to get into the carriage. Gradually removing the fear that such liberties will have to pay with a month of sitting "on buckwheat". There is money. There are possibilities. There is something to eat. Calm down. Things are good.

Learn to communicate with successful, self-confident people without feeling their otherness, inferiority, wretchedness. Remove your fear "I am not like that, I do not correspond to them. Where are THEY (!!!), and where am I". The feeling of one's uncoolness, non-suchness, smallness, microscopicity will also not go away immediately. It will not go away with a dress and shoes on. The dress will first press, the shoes will press, the tiara will fall from the head. After all, at first it feels like a fake, not true. Cinderella could not help but feel like a self-styled ball.

This takes time. And a new environment. And new thoughts. And understanding of the intolerance of this crampedness and squalor. And a furious, greedy, ineradicable desire, thirst - to escape from this poverty. Throw away the trash, wash your body, wash all this mustiness out of yourself and out of your life.

There is money. There are possibilities. There is something to eat. Relax. Things are good.