2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Various difficulties occur in the life of each person. Sometimes there are "problems" that are solved quickly and easily, and there are such "problems" that are unsettling. And at such moments it seems that somehow everything has dragged on, stagnated like a swamp and it is necessary to do something, but it is not clear what, how and in what sequence.
The very first and most important condition for "breaking the ice", in order to launch the necessary changes, you need to achieve at least a minimum level of readiness to solve these very problems. To do this, we will use a very effective model borrowed by "Kovalev's six" from S. V. Kovalev, so let's start:
Well, let's take a closer look at what each of the points means:
1 Accept. At this stage, you need to take your problem for granted. Accept what it is. I’ll just say to myself: “Yes, I accept that I have no relationship, I don’t earn enough, that I’m sitting all day on social media. networks and do nothing sensible, the fact that I am sick of the work I want, that I do not realize my potential … and so on. In general, everyone will substitute their own, instead of the examples given.
It looks like a kind of humility, but without despair, when a person refuses to maintain his illusory maps of reality. These illusions are simply your psychological defenses, of which there are a million, which will explain and prove that your problem is not a problem. As an alcoholic proves that he only sings a little, as a smoker proves that he likes to smoke, as a man proves that these are not the women who come across and there is no way to build relationships, as a woman proves that men are not the same today, as a beggar proves that life unfair
Acceptance is about admitting to yourself, facing the truth, and sincerely saying to yourself, “Stop doing bullshit! This is problem! My problem and no one will solve it instead of me. And finally, take responsibility for yourself. Practice shows that after good acceptance, the following points go like clockwork.
2 Refuse to search for the guilty. Stop and understand that in fact no one else is to blame for this problem. Not the neighbors, not the president, not your mother or father. Stop looking for someone to shift the responsibility to. And understand that this is just a situation that has developed at the moment in your life, which needs to be solved and that's it. And the moment you try to find someone to blame, you automatically try to shift the responsibility for your life onto someone else. And this, in turn, puts you in the position of the victim and you start to go with the flow again, instead of solving the problems that have arisen.
3 Stop moaning … Why me? Why is all this to me? Such a position will never allow at least something to be decided. Because all your strength, all your psychic and physiological energy will go to "Why me?" And if you really want to solve problems, then instead of these groans you need to answer yourself the question "For what?" Why did life give you this problem? What would you what? What have you learned? Did you understand something? Or, on the contrary, they stopped suffering bullshit and took responsibility for themselves?
4 Minimize the consequences. As you can imagine, all these steps are very consistent and follow one after the other, smoothly flowing from the victim of the problem into the creator of your life. And the next step is to ask the question: How can I now reduce the consequences of an already existing problem? How can I minimize them?
Can you stop constantly reproaching yourself and eating your own brain? Maybe to minimize communication with people who are just throwing firewood into the "fire of the problem", maybe to change the situation or switch, can be distracted and relax?
5 Define a lesson. Think about how to understand why you are given the problem? What does she want to teach in your life? If you had the opportunity and you could go back in time before this problem occurred, then what would you like to do, tell yourself before the problem occurs? This is a lesson to be realized and accepted. This point lays the foundation for the next one.
6 True meaning. And finally, the last point. Answer yourself to a very interesting question: what good would never have happened in your life, if not for this bad, not the problem that happened to you? Try to answer this question carefully and carefully.
And after you have passed this six, you can begin to solve the problem / problems and achieve the goal / goals, because if you sincerely and completely passed all 6 points, the internal readiness to solve the problems that have arisen will already be formed. And about how to solve any problems that arise with a guarantee, I wrote in the article: " How to solve any problems and guaranteed to achieve goals". Study the given material and achieve the desired ones. Well, if you need help, please contact.
That's all. Until next time. Sincerely Dmitry Poteev.
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