Mom, I'm Already An Adult, Or What Is A Mature Personality, And Criteria For Completing Therapy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A mature personality implies a formed stable identity. What does this mean? The main criterion for a mature identity is the integration of psychological mechanisms that ensure the interaction of "ego" and "self", and good adaptability. The absence of problems associated with identity can be said if a person has a sense of the meaning of life.

Identification is understood as the fusion of an individual with a group or his imitation of the behavior of other people; under identity - the individual's own value orientations, his ambitions, adaptation problems, etc., which are either shared by others or supplemented. The moment a person becomes what he wanted to become, he attains his formed identity. The concept of identity is a kind of bridge between the inner formation of the personality and the forces of the culture of his environment. This is an integrative process, during which the individual fits into the environment, which helps to reduce his tension and anxiety. The well-known psychologist Erickson believed that the integration of the individual, taking place with the preservation of individuality and uniqueness, is more than just a collection of personal identifications. It is an individual's ability, based on personal experience, to integrate his identifications with his own motives and the possibilities that social roles provide him with. The issue of formed identity is quite complex and multifactorial.

So what are the components of a mature personality?

1. Strong and stable identity, not amenable to external influence, aware of its social and gender role.
2. Conscious use of higher-order defense mechanisms.
3. Ability to adapt with creativity.
4. Lack of internal conflicts, especially between the mental functions "self", "id", "ego", "personality".
5. Successful way out of crises (including development and age crises).
6. The presence in a person's life of strong resources (including an internal source of energy, pleasure and harmonization of one's life), to which one could turn for help without feeling an oppressive feeling of guilt and shame (to some extent, these manifestations are permissible, but on the whole should not interfere communication with others). Ability to find and create these resources, rely on them.
7. Contact and behavior management. The context implies the ability to come into contact at will, to get out of it on their own, and not under the influence of affects, trauma or habitual protective mechanisms. A person should not be afraid to let another person into their territory and create close relationships, should be able to control the feeling of fear of being absorbed, be in close sincere relationships, open up to a partner without fear and shame, discuss, negotiate, understand the process of getting out of the merger and maintain a stable state of mind … At the same time, you need to be aware of the scope of your boundaries and understand who, when and under what circumstances can be allowed to cross them. The ability to distinguish between situations and people should be associated exclusively with the needs, motives and feelings of the individual, and not the influence of authority.
8. Emotional independence and stability in the structure of the psyche.
9. Knowledge of oneself and a holistic perception of one's identity with all the advantages and disadvantages, loyalty to the shortcomings and psychological adaptation to them (I know how to live with my personality traits!). Accordingly, the mature personality is also loyal to the “negative” character traits of those around him, does not condemn. Full study of all childhood traumas, awareness of the influence of psychological defenses on gaining new experience. This criterion also includes knowledge of the history of your family (at least 3 generations) and understanding of your own role in the family system (What scenarios are played out? What unfinished family situations end with a personality?). As for the actual performance of the role - the choice is up to the individual.
10. A formed worldview, a system of life values and beliefs on which a person relies. A person must clearly understand what is important to her in life. There is no internal contradiction in the constituent parts of the worldview. There are not only extremes (all or nothing) - there can be shades of various colors, the choice of a person directly depends on situations and her desires. All desires are realistic (they can be fulfilled).
11. The individual is generally satisfied with his life and profession, receives satisfaction from what he does. This is a person who does not suffer from constant anxiety and depression, panic attacks.
12. Tolerant attitude to the occurrence of problems, pain experienced and various difficulties, as there is a clear understanding that this is an integral part of our life. Perception of these problems as additional opportunities for growth, rather than hindrances to the achievement of desired goals. The ability to contain, experience, live through your pain.
13. Conscious perception of your feelings, the ability to manage them - to express or restrain. What does this mean? A person understands that he is experiencing fear, guilt, shame, resentment, anger, gratitude, etc., but they do not control him.
14. A strong identity does not mean a rigid psyche, a person should not be stony in perceiving the experiences of others (“I know that this is the right thing to do, and that's it!”), You need to listen and assume a different opinion, but at the same time rely on your inner feelings … Anyone can get into a traumatic situation, but a strong and stable personality always knows who to turn to for help, the crisis does not completely destroy it.
15. Lack of internal authority. A mature person relies only on his own feelings, desires, knowledge and experience, does not obey the opinions of authorities, "gods" in human guise, is not afraid to express his point of view.
16. The immediate completion of therapy occurs at the stage when a person becomes a mature person. According to psychoanalysts (for example, Otto Kernberg), the average period of psychotherapy is 7 years. However, in reality, it is difficult to determine the exact time frame. Some people turn to psychotherapy sessions in a more mature perception of themselves, others - in a less mature one.
17. In any case, if the therapy lasted more than a year, there will be more than one session at the end, on average 5-10 sessions will be needed. If there was a full-fledged psychotherapy (7-10 years), it takes 1-1.5 years to complete the therapy.
18. In the process of completion, all the results are summed up (What problems have been solved? What will remain unchanged?), That is, the person goes through all the main points of therapy anew. Relatively speaking, the psychotherapist re-works the problematic moments and confirms: “Yes, I see the maturity of the personality. One can feel tenacity in contact, decisions are made independently, one has one's own opinion, the psyche is stable, confrontation is not a problem."

Different psychotherapists have different opinions about the nature of the completion of therapy:

- complete completion (we will never see you again, this is the last session);

- psychotherapy never ends, the client can always return.

Of no small importance for choosing a strategy for completing psychotherapy lies in the type of personality. For example, for a person with hypersensitivity and tendency to depression, it is important to understand that he can always return to his therapist.

It is believed that after therapy a person lives with his therapist (the inner formation of the personality under the influence of communication with the therapist takes place on average for another 2-5 years) and internalizes everything that happened to the end.